Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise

Glittersisgld wrote:I kind of liked Ashley on After Paradise.  I thought she could have her own talk show.  She is very good in front of a camera and an audience.

I'm with you, Glitters.  I didn't watch much of the After show because I thought it was an insult to viewers, even for summertime ABC* programming, but I did wonder where is the woefully worrisome weeping waif, Ashley, we had come go know and wail about? Why, she seemed almost to have her wits with her.


*summertime ABC = Anything But Content

newto wrote:Just barging in to say how tickled I am to once again read and interact with Buckeye Belle and Grammarianna.  Have so missed your deathless prose and fabulous sense(s) of humor since I left the motherboard.  So glad you are here!!!!!!

Hello, newto!  Glad to be here!

h28koala wrote:I have often wondered why people that get TERRIBLE edits by the show and are shown as being idiots, or mean, or ridiculous would want to continue to be on the show in a future capacity.  I mean did Ashley I really think she looked GOOD on Chris Soule's season?  Didn't she consider for a second that BIP would continue along the theme of making her look and act like a tween having a temper tantrum?  And she signed up for more of it. 

I think there is a certain drug like quality where people are addicted to the fame or something related to their notoriety.  I guess for some being recognized in any capacity is better than not being recognized at all?  Or they really do want to meet some of the people from other seasons?

This show was smart - they saw at all the loser events (dinners and cruises and big bashes) that the losing contestants would all attend would consist of all the singles hooking up with each other and some actually dating and getting married (Chris from Ali's season married a girl from another season) so this season just figured they would do it on camera and get the credit for it.  So in some cases if they would bring in more of the non fame nice folks I think this could work.

Are you watching UnREAL, Koala?  If not, you simply must.

My guess is that these contestants already have a high level of "famewhore-itis" and then, when combined with the smooth talking and convincing manipulation by Bach producers, they haven't got a chance of thinking straight.

Buckeye Belle wrote:I did wonder where is the woefully worrisome weeping waif, Ashley, we had come go know and wail about? Why, she seemed almost to have her wits with her.

 Hi Belle
Did you ever see Ashley when she was on Jimmy Kimmel?? Very smart, witty and downright funny.

Grammariann wrote:
My guess is that these contestants already have a high level of "famewhore-itis" and then, when combined with the smooth talking and convincing manipulation by Bach producers, they haven't got a chance of thinking straight.

I agree, and I also said before that BN is like heroin to contestants, which is Koala's thought, too.

I have not watched un REAL but I will have to check it out now that you say so!  LOL.  Yeah it is definitely an odd examination of humanity - people do not mind unfolding their lives on TV as long as they are on TV. 

It's like people that go on TV reality shows literally can't go back to normal life.  They hang on by their nails to any opportunity (look at those Jersey Shore people... I don't think any of them have had a real job since the show - they cling to any TV appearance). 

I truly hope that these contestants know how to find and talk to people outside the hyped up environment on the Bach franchise.

I think people who go on a show like Jersey Shore would be seeking fame more because they are on the show every week and have speaking parts, whereas the Bach shows they could just be on the show once and not be speaking as much.

Things we learned from Episode 3:

 1. You don't have to try to find love if your sister is doing all the work.

 2. Slutting around isn't as fun as it's made out to be if you're homesick.

 3. Every little scene shown is a preview; there isn't really anything going on.

 4. You can be "super into," totally in love, and a mistress, but the guy isn't a boyfriend.

 5. Clarinet music signifies angst.

 6.  Ask and you shall receive.

 7.  If you are a welder, sparks might fly (so where's the mask?).

 8. If you give the wrong guy a date card, it's like giving the nuclear launch codes to an insane asylum.

 9. Separation anxiety makes for tear tracks on the cheeks and suitcase tracks in the sand.  And speaking of . .

10. The way to leave a resort is dressed in your bikini, dragging your suitcase through the sand on the beach.

More to come . . .

11. Rockin' a little more pool action is a good way to get a little more action.

12. Josh and girls is like water in California.

13.  Tenley is like a princess in a movie, and there's never been a welder who has gotten the girl.

14.  Sitting and listening to crickets is a good way to assess a man's sense of humor.

15. You need to sob when you tell a raccoon you don't want drama.

16. You need to uncork a raccoon's wine bottle for him if you want him to listen to you.

17.  "Anybody wanna go horseback riding?" is the way to get a date when you're not into yourself.

18. A Disney princess and a village idiot make a good couple.

19. What does a bear man look like as a bare man?

20. A blind squirrel finds a nut now and then, but can he crack it?

More to come . . .

21. There is such a thing as negative infinity.

22. If you don't find love, you can least find a committee of honorary big brothers.

23. Horse liveries in Mexico rent out footwear as well.

24. You shouldn't spend a lot of time (that means a couple of hours) with someone if she doesn't feel the same way.

25. You know you have feelings for someone when you kiss in front of a waterfall.

26. A crab crawling near a clock means it's time for heartbreak.

27.  There are love triangles, and then there are love squares.  Can a pentagon be far behind?

28.  How to make a Tenley sandwich?

28. Actually, No. 25 is wrong.  Only one of you knows.

That's a wrap for Sunday.  Now, I wonder, do you serve the Tenley sandwich in a wrap?  With what condiments?  Do you get fries with that?

Thank you for sharing your astute observations, Belle.  So fun to read!  You nailed it.

Here are a few more lessons.  If you jump off a cliff with someone you just met, into a water hole at the base of a waterfall, it signals that you are starting a deeply meaningful relationship.  Deeply meaningful has at least two definitions.  Carrying baggage across sand by one's self is is extremely challenging and indicates you have had enough of the drama.  Sadly, baggage has at least two definitions.

The word "nut" has at least three definitions.

Monday's mind-benders from week 2:

 1. Shaving is the best way to lose both beards.

 2. Jared looks like Superman, so why does he need a bungee cord for bungee jumping?  And why is Clare afraid if Jared can catch her in flight?

 3. Screaming makes the excitement of conquering one's fears last longer.

 4. An accusation of being insincere brings the crabs out.

 5. An accusation of being a liar brings the snake out!

 6. "Atrocious" is a new emotion--peculiar to bachpeople, perhaps?

 7. Apparently Tenley is the condiment in her own sandwich.

 8.  Corporate lawyers can get time off from work for bach shenanigans just like regular people.

 9.  If you don't have a Plan B, you pretty much have to go with Plan A.

10. Which dampens a relationship more-an 8-year age difference, or a lack of sparks and butterflies?

More to come . . .

11. Mariachi gotchi!

12. Michael is definitely not just a side dish to the Tenley sandwich!

13. If someone is not there for the right reasons, it's not love.

14. The snake comes out for the right reasons.

15. A leap of faith ought to have a destination.  "See where it goes" doesn't sound like a destination.  Maybe the wrong people were sent on the bungee cord date.

16. Now we know why "man-to-man" isn't the best way to settle differences.

17. Someone who isn't there for the right reasons can play several people at once.

18.  Every guy who is manipulating a gal needs a bitch and a pimp.  "It's hard out there . . . "

19. Being in the moment is better than being 8 years late.

20. Making a speech before a rose ceremony sparks a thunderstorm.

More to come . . .

21. If the shoe fits, wear it.  But you can only do that if you can find the shoes.

22. If you don't find love on your last chance on a bach show, you're never gonna find somebody.   

And we still haven't been served the Tenley sandwich!  Is this really worth the suspense?

I LOVE these Belle - and when I finally get to watch the show they all make perfect sense.

I would never go to that resort! Snakes, crabs, lizards, nooooo thank you.

Starz wrote:I LOVE these Belle - and when I finally get to watch the show they all make perfect sense.

Thinks so much, Starz and Newto, too.  Starz, I hope you're matching them up right now! 

Episode 5?

Okay, this is what I learned after the first 90 minutes of tonight's episode:

It is possible to forget to watch.  I know, I know!  Who woulda thunk it?  I guess you have to do it to believe it!  Did anyone else learn anything interesting enough to report?

I didn't watch it, so nothing to report. I cant really get into this show. Think I'm just gonna hold out till Bach returns in Jan.

I think a bunch of us are pretty bored with BIP - I know I am!
I will probably just wait for DWTS to come on.

Oh no!  TPTB are going to be crushed that we don't appreciate their stellar creative efforts.  Look what I have learned in just the 30 minutes I watched.  Take note!

 1. Is a half moon hot tub as good an aphrodisiac as a full moon hot tub?

 2. TPTB think a budding off-show romance is worth taking to the next level-on camera!

 3. Is "If Joe and Samantha hit it off" in question when the the two of them are apparently glued together?

 4.  "Talking before the show" is code for "We're going to furnish the drama for the season."

 5.  People should worry about love and not get into each others' business.

 6. I takes a committee to call out the bad guy.

 7. A hotel deck railing is as good a place for a posse as it is for a rejected suitor's crying scene (à la Jake).

 8. In bachland, witnesses are required for a confrontation.

 9. Being upset about being played is blowing things out of proportion.

10. Denying the obvious is easier when you don't care.

11. Promising something "as a man" is most likely way less credible than promising on a loved one's life.

12. Losing the best thing you've ever had is a bummer when you've done something really mean to get it.

Maybe it'll be possible to catch up tomorrow night.

Starz wrote:I think a bunch of us are pretty bored with BIP - I know I am!
I will probably just wait for DWTS to come on.

Oh yeah, I forgot that one will be on next month. I like DWTS.  Don't know if I will get to post much on that one after my little munchkin is born, but hopefully I'll get to watch it.  I wish Maks would come back!!