Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise

13. If your butt is shadowed out, it probably matches your boobs.

14. A Bloody Mary in a champagne flute makes for a ticklish date invitation.

15. The tickling stops when a better woman comes along.

16. Having your date broken for a better woman ratchets up the drama--totally cool, NOT!

17. It's possible to be more of a virgin after a night in the fantasy suite.  Should we call that anticlimactic?

18.  If you're going to sell your date card, drive a hard bargain.

19. If a girl takes her shirt off when she's riding a horse on the beach, she looks like a girl on the cover of a romance novel.

20.  If you get chills on your first date with someone, things can only heat up.

21. You can't be looking for love if you don't know what the word "love" means.

22. When you're prone to crying, it's only a matter of time.

23.  If you want to leave Paradise, there's a car sitting there, as if it could read your mind.

24. If you find the perfect guy and it doesn't work, how perfect was he?

25. If a girl is beautiful enough, she can be the only thing on a guy's mind--er, mind?

26. You can't beat a fine woman and fine food.

27. With wine and food, a date can go on all night, and be better than a quarter million dollars.

27. Beauty can hide destructiveness.

28. You have to pass a kissing test before you qualify for a rose.

29. If you haven't formed a relationship, you need to give it your all at a cocktail party.

30.  If there's no cocktail party, there will be a bloodbath, and therefore nothing to give.

31.  If you don't know what to do at the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison will have to tell you because Jorge isn't there.

32.  You can either find love in Paradise or grow up.

33. Not really being in love can be close enough to make you cry.

34. Sometimes you just have to stand up and say, "Goodbye."  And be a man.

35. If people don't find love, they can drop like flies.

36. Chris Harrison in the morning, bachpeople take warning.  Can your love grow, and exist, beyond . . . all of this, plus a fantasy suite?  Will everyone be respected in the morning?

37.  If you think it's going to be the best day in Paradise, you need to think again.

38. If you're laying next to someone and still feel alone, maybe you need a little push, or maybe you can't let it go on any longer.

39.  You can fall, but still not get there.

40. The girl you break up with owes you the time to listen to your explanation; it's not fair for her to be upset and walk away.  And walk away.  And walk away.  And walk away . . .

41.  Sympathy crying is always supplied in the bachworld.

42.  Typical of the bachworld, if you have a breakup, it's the WORST breakup EVER!

Whew!  That was exhausting--especially the last half hour.  I must emotionally regroup before tomorrow night, when we find out what leftovers are we are going to get.  Nighty night!

Fabulous, Belle!!  Thank goodness you are back with us!!

Mikey won't just go out with anyone.

Completely idealizing someone and putting them on a pedestal means you're almost in love with them.