Episode 8 - 7/15 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

So that is probably the explanation as to why Chris' HTD seemed somewhat off. It was kinda like Sean's. Both families nice, but something just isn't right. I thought the whole chiropractic scene was funny and couldn't figure out why they would include that but I agree, it had to be MF idea. I was wondering about Chris' mother as well, but she did seem to come around in the end. Maybe she was nervous about all of it and did get a little tipsy??

Loved Zak's date. I actually thought it was on of the best dates I've seen on this show. Did not care for Drew's date at all. As far as Brooks, he appears to be just "there". It's almost as if he is kind of lost in what everyone around him is doing or saying and can't make up his own mind. I certainly see no chemistry between them. But I also think he is an odd duck. Des says they "get" each other. Really....I haven't seen that at all.

Nor have I, rein.  It seemed like he was asking his family to make up his mind for him.

And I agree with all of you that Zak's HTD was the best.  The nose adjustment on Chris was gross and his family seemed more reserved.  Drew's mom just had a sad look about her.

I loved Zax family and they would be a lot of fun. I do not know why MF loves to distort things. He will be one to cause this show to get cancelled. IMHO

singlyme wrote:Nor have I, rein.  It seemed like he was asking his family to make up his mind for him.

And I agree with all of you that Zak's HTD was the best.  The nose adjustment on Chris was gross and his family seemed more reserved.  Drew's mom just had a sad look about her.

I agree with you Singly. I think Drew's mother has had a very trying life. His family seems nice, but they have had a lot of heartache and if/when Des does not choose him, they will take it very badly. I believe that any woman who would marry Drew would really have to be prepared to be married to his family; more so other families. I think Drew feels a very strong commitment to his family and I can't imagine him ever moving away for any reason, even a wife. To this day, I don't really know what Drew wants. What I THINK he wants is Des to love him and his family, get married and have children. I understand the emotional commitment he has to his family, but he has never really spread his wings to discover who he really is. That is not entirely his fault because his family circumstances did not really allow that to happen. I get the feeling that Des is the first woman he has had strong feelings for. He seems almost too desperate. The woman Drew marries will have to be a special type person and I just don't see Des being the one. Maybe in the bach bubble she is, but not in real life.

Zak's HTD was the best of the three.  His family also seems like such a warm, welcoming, easy-going one!  I was so sorry to see him go last night.(: 

The nose episode on Chris's HTD was simply gross.

I think, too, that whoever marries Drew is going to marry his family, too, and I don't think that is what Des is looking for.  I don't think she wants or is ready for that type of a commitment.

Did anyone notice how close she was sitting to Brooks when they were at the dinner table?  While she was sitting beside her dates at all of the other HTD, it just seemed like she was sitting closer to Brooks.  Brooks is not feeling what she's feeling, for whatever reason, and I think she is going to get hurt if she keeps setting her sights on him.  I think he needs to let her know that he is more unsure than he letting on.

Has there been a preview of the final get-down-on-your-knee scenes?  I'm not remembering one.  Could it be that Des lands up with no one on the show?  Is that why she's so upset in the upcoming preview they showed on this last episode?

Loved Des's dress at the FRC last night!  I thought the brother was going to sabotage it since they showed him peeking around the corner.  She said she hadn't seen him since the last season's show, and she really seemed kind of uncomfortable sitting there with him, so I don't think they're close at all.  I think it's the producers who wanted him there this season for some more drama.

sdreindeer wrote:Maybe she was nervous about all of it and did get a little tipsy??

Yes, tipsy a better word. She seemed overly emotional in some of the scenes.

SLA44 wrote:The ball field scene to me was straight out of Ali/Roberto's hometown date - another repeat.  Since his hometown is in Wine Country I was disappointed they didn't tour a winery as part of the date.

I liked the baseball portion much better than the family portion, but a winery date would have been nice, so we could see a little of the scenery.

I liked Zak's family and would feel most comfortable there.

I'm beginning to think that the MTA is early because Des is left alone at the end.  If that happens, won't that be a first?  We always see the preview of the bachelorette standing somewhere scenic waiting to be proposed to.  I haven't seen any of that this time.   

Plus, isn't there usually three more episodes?  I thought there was always another episode after the fantasy dates and where they meet her family.

BlueMoon wrote:I'm beginning to think that the MTA is early because Des is left alone at the end.  If that happens, won't that be a first?  We always see the preview of the bachelorette standing somewhere scenic waiting to be proposed to.  I haven't seen any of that this time.   

Plus, isn't there usually three more episodes?  I thought there was always another episode after the fantasy dates and where they meet her family.

There has to be a reason the MTA is moved. To me the only explanation is the F3 leaves, but comes back therefore he can't be there to talk about the ending yet. Could be Drew or Brooks IMO.

I know each of us have or had an idea what we want in a mate. We also know what we don't want. I have tried to keep an open mind about the men. But I am totally confused what she sees in Brooks. He looks like he is going through the emotions with her.I am not saying he is a bad person. He reminds me the type that is set in his ways. I might be wrong I can not see him making her and the relationship his top priority. He also does not seem the type to stop and smell the roses. It would surprise me if he does not break her heart.

Chris would make sure she is loved and happy and would cater to her.

It hadn't occurred to me that there were no previews for the FRC.  But you have a point.  !?!?!?!?  What's up with this?  That would mean the substance may hit the fan the week after MTA, right?  I'll admit I'm intrigued by the mystery of it.  However, I'll be much more impressed if I'm not being bamboozled by false advertising.  LOL.

As for the similarity between Des/Chris and Aly/Roberto's baseball date, a trip to a winery would have been too much like Ben's season.

You know, as I was reading a few descriptions of why Drew is NOT a good fit for Des, it struck me that back in my day, he was just the kind of guy one looked for.  Family-oriented, responsible, good-looking.  Back in those days of yore and ancient/passe ideas, one looked for a man who shared family values, and often, religious compatibility was a factor.  Consider the difference between those days and now.  No wonder so many marriages fail.

Isn't it possible that Drew is getting the "physical" edit? There's no way, IMHO, that type of edit applies to Chris. In my wild dreams I wonder if Des ends up with Drew, will he let her run her fingers through his hair? Hmmm.

gin1972 wrote:I know each of us have or had an idea what we want in a mate. We also know what we don't want. I have tried to keep an open mind about the men. But I am totally confused what she sees in Brooks. He looks like he is going through the emotions with her.I am  not saying he is a bad person. He reminds me the type  that is set in his ways. I might be wrong I can not see him making her and the relationship his top priority. He also does not seem the type to stop and smell the roses. It would surprise me if he does not break her heart.

Chris would make sure she is loved and happy and would  cater to her.

I agree newto. He is so detached from her I just can't figure it out. At this point in his life anyway, it appears that Brooks is all about Brooks. I do not believe he came on this show to find a spouse. He is probably a bit confused now that he has actually made it to the final four.....quite a predicament for him if that is not what he wanted.

Singly, I still think women, or at least some women, do still look for those qualities in a man. However, as devoted Drew is to his family, he appears to be very needy himself. Since the only thing the show has emphasized about Drew is his family, it makes me wonder what he has done for himself. He doesn't appear to have very much joy within him and I think a person like that would be emotionally draining. For some women he may be the perfect mate. I just don't see Des being that person.

I can understand where Drew is coming from. He is the baby of the family and I am sure he did not get a lot of attention. He is luck his dad turned his life around. My dad could not and he killed himself. Drew's mom has gone down an extreme rough road. She had no support from Drew's dad. She had to do it all and she was alone even if Drew's dad was still married to her. She had to raise all the children alone take care of his handicap sister. Drew grew up helping his sister cause he saw what his mom was having to handle. Drew might think he has to be there to help and he will have to take over when he his mom no longer can help her daughter. He had to grow up fast cause of dad. It is very stressful living with a drunk cause you do not know what might set them off. He is going to have to look for someone who knows what it is like to have someone who is handicap or someone that has or is the medical field. His brother and sister might not live that close. It takes a big adjustment on his sister if she has to move. This also might be the first time that Drew has been away from home and totally on his on and got so caught up in the process and thinks he loves Des, but he might not be in love with her. How many people get hurt on the show and they bounce back faster then we thought it should.

Yes, Drew is immature and I think that has to do with him not being on his own and learning to fly. Yes Drew's mom has remarried but he talked about his dad and the anger his dad had a temper rage hitting the walls and throwing things while on one hid rages. So from that he has seen what they all went through. I can tell you it is rough going through that. I would not be surprised if he did not have a lot of attention when he was little. Just from the way he acts and some of his thinking.

gin1972 wrote:I know each of us have or had an idea what we want in a mate. We also know what we don't want. I have tried to keep an open mind about the men. But I am totally confused what she sees in Brooks. He looks like he is going through the emotions with her.I am  not saying he is a bad person. He reminds me the type  that is set in his ways. I might be wrong I can not see him making her and the relationship his top priority. He also does not seem the type to stop and smell the roses. It would surprise me if he does not break her heart.

Chris would make sure she is loved and happy and would  cater to her.

 Gin, At this point in time, I think Chris is her best bet, too.  Brooks definitely looks like his heart is not in a relationship with Des - or anyone right now, for that matter.

singlyme wrote:It hadn't occurred to me that there were no previews for the FRC.  But you have a point.  !?!?!?!?  What's up with this?  That would mean the substance may hit the fan the week after MTA, right?  I'll admit I'm intrigued by the mystery of it.  However, I'll be much more impressed if I'm not being bamboozled by false advertising.  LOL.

As for the similarity between Des/Chris and Aly/Roberto's baseball date, a trip to a winery would have been too much like Ben's season.

You know, as I was reading a few descriptions of why Drew is NOT a good fit for Des, it struck me that back in my day, he was just the kind of guy one looked for.  Family-oriented, responsible, good-looking.  Back in those days of yore and ancient/passe ideas, one looked for a man who shared family values, and often, religious compatibility was a factor.  Consider the difference between those days and now.  No wonder so many marriages fail.

I can't remember exactly where Chris's hometown of McMinnville actually is, but there are lots of things to do in Oregon besides visiting wineries.  There are beaches and mountains and lakes, just to name a few things.

As far as differences in what people are looking for in a marriage today versus the past, you bring up some good points.  Although Des comes from a small family, I really don't think she would feel comfortable in a large family like Drew's.  Drew's dad also indirectly brought up the subject of religion with Des when he asked if she believed in angels, and then told her that Drew's sister was an angel.

rkc1960 wrote:It's true what you say about what people used to look for in a mate. Des seems to like fun and adventure and that's what she keeps referring to in a mate. I'm sure she still wants someone that want's to get married and have a family but she doesn't seem to mention those things first when she give a description of what she wants. Drew just seems almost too sweet and a bit naive. I don't see Des wanting someone like that. Mainly what she says about him is superficial stuff like how good looking he is, great body, kisses the best....is that what has mainly been holding her to him? She doesn't seem to talk about much else where he's concerned....

 I'm just really "talkative" today!  I think Des's relationship with Drew is more physical than with the other guys.  It's not only her comment about kissing him, but did you notice that when she met him for the home town date, they held onto each other longer than she did with the others?

sdreindeer wrote:

gin1972 wrote:I know each of us have or had an idea what we want in a mate. We also know what we don't want. I have tried to keep an open mind about the men. But I am totally confused what she sees in Brooks. He looks like he is going through the emotions with her.I am  not saying he is a bad person. He reminds me the type  that is set in his ways. I might be wrong I can not see him making her and the relationship his top priority. He also does not seem the type to stop and smell the roses. It would surprise me if he does not break her heart.

Chris would make sure she is loved and happy and would  cater to her.

I agree newto.  He is so detached from her I just can't figure it out.  At this point in his life anyway, it appears that Brooks is all about Brooks.  I do not believe he came on this show to find a spouse.  He is probably a bit confused now that he has actually made it to the final four.....quite a predicament for him if that is not what he wanted.

Singly, I still think women, or at least some women, do still look for those qualities in a man.  However, as devoted Drew is to his family, he appears to be very needy himself.  Since the only thing the show has emphasized about Drew is his family, it makes me wonder what he has done for himself.  He doesn't appear to have very much joy within him and I think a person like that would be emotionally draining.   For some women he may be the perfect mate.  I just don't see Des being that person.  

I wonder what Drew has done for himself, too.  He strikes me as the type who hasn't ventured far from home - not that there's anything wrong with that.  I'm just in favor of making sure a person is ready to settle down before they actually do.

gin1972 wrote:I can understand where Drew is coming from. He is the baby of the family and I am sure he did not get a lot of attention. He is luck his dad turned his life around. My dad could not and he killed himself. Drew's mom has gone down an extreme rough road. She had no support from Drew's dad. She had to do it all and she was alone even if Drew's dad was still married to her. She had to raise all the children alone take care of his handicap sister. Drew grew up helping his sister cause he saw what his mom was having to handle. Drew might think he has to be there to help and he will have to take over when he his mom no longer can help her daughter. He had to grow up fast cause of dad. It is very stressful living with a drunk cause you do not know what might set them off. He is going to have to look for someone who knows what it is like to have someone who is handicap or someone that has or is the medical field. His brother and sister  might not live that close. It takes a big adjustment on his sister if she has to move. This also might be the first time that Drew has been away from home and totally on his on and got so caught up in the process and thinks he loves Des, but he might not be in love with her. How many people get hurt on the show and they bounce back faster then we thought it should.

 As far as Drew's sister goes, (and I don't mean to sound unkind or anything) it looks to me like she's being taken care of by other people.  While I agree it would be difficult if Drew was not located where she could see him every day - or almost every day, it's doesn't appear that the family is actually taking care of her on a daily basis.  I would be concerned about having a good job with some insurance benefits so that I could contribute to the cost of her care.  Drew might also be concerned about whether a child of his might have what his sister has.

Yes, Drew sister is being taking care of. That has probably not been the case. I am sure when she was younger I doubt that they had a home like that for her. These type of homes have only come available in the last 10 years. Before that there were state homes and the way they were ran was a disgrace to anyone. I remember after my sister's accident my parents looked into some and one I was crying I said no she can not come her and my dad told me not to worry that we will take card of her. Not everyone is able to do that and nit everyone is able to afford one of these homes.

Is anyone about ready to give up on this convoluted drama? I feel like I am choking on all the twists. Will be tickled when this season is over; much too much drama, much too little entertainment, and IMHO nothing to hang on to.