Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
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Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Sun Aug 02, 2015 9:02 pm
Things I've learned from the cast intros (in no particular order of importance:
1. Everyone who leaves the show does so with a broken heart.
2. The only way to find love after you've been on a bach show is to go on another bach show.
3. The best way to recover from a broken heart is to go on a bach show.
4. The best marketing tool for a woman on a bach show is an enhanced set of twin girls.
5. One way to pick a mate is to consult a two year old. (This is probably correct in the bach world.)
6. Owning one's own business is good preparation for being on a bach show.
7. You might be forgotten if you haven's been on a bach show for 5 years.
8. "T" stands for testosterone.
9. Bringing a sibling who is not a virgin is good romance strategy. (Not to be confused with marketing (No. 4))
10. It can be AMAZING to make out with two sisters at the same time.
More to come . . .
1. Everyone who leaves the show does so with a broken heart.
2. The only way to find love after you've been on a bach show is to go on another bach show.
3. The best way to recover from a broken heart is to go on a bach show.
4. The best marketing tool for a woman on a bach show is an enhanced set of twin girls.
5. One way to pick a mate is to consult a two year old. (This is probably correct in the bach world.)
6. Owning one's own business is good preparation for being on a bach show.
7. You might be forgotten if you haven's been on a bach show for 5 years.
8. "T" stands for testosterone.
9. Bringing a sibling who is not a virgin is good romance strategy. (Not to be confused with marketing (No. 4))
10. It can be AMAZING to make out with two sisters at the same time.
More to come . . .
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:08 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Sun Aug 02, 2015 9:31 pm
11. If you see someone you are inetested in, you need to take the bull by the horns.
12. You can be very picky, but a romp in the ocean is the way to start a relationship.
13. Black boxes are sexy.
14. The best way to prepare the crowd for the entrance of a d*****bag is to have a close-up photo of a crab.
15. BIP is summer camp for adults. (But where are the adults?)
16. Sisters are a package deal. That means one sister can slut around and the other can stay around.
17. The ultimate rose ceremony requires white roses.
18. "Destination wedding" has a new definition.
19. Chris Harrison hasn't memorized wedding vows as well as "This is the final rose tonight."
20. Anything is possible in paradise.
More to come . . .
12. You can be very picky, but a romp in the ocean is the way to start a relationship.
13. Black boxes are sexy.
14. The best way to prepare the crowd for the entrance of a d*****bag is to have a close-up photo of a crab.
15. BIP is summer camp for adults. (But where are the adults?)
16. Sisters are a package deal. That means one sister can slut around and the other can stay around.
17. The ultimate rose ceremony requires white roses.
18. "Destination wedding" has a new definition.
19. Chris Harrison hasn't memorized wedding vows as well as "This is the final rose tonight."
20. Anything is possible in paradise.
More to come . . .
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:04 pm
21. It's harder to pick out someone to like when there are so many options.
22. Telling a guy you're not into the princess thing isn't necessarily the start of something big
23. The requisite closeups of the birds in paradise aren't really birds of paradise.
24. Mexican guitar players on bach shows need to know only 3 chords. If they are plucking the strings, it means people are conversating in a romantic setting. An arpeggio means an increase in tension. A strum means cut to the next scene. An upbeat tempo is a setup for something that's about to happen.
That's a wrap for this episode. School's out for the night!
22. Telling a guy you're not into the princess thing isn't necessarily the start of something big
23. The requisite closeups of the birds in paradise aren't really birds of paradise.
24. Mexican guitar players on bach shows need to know only 3 chords. If they are plucking the strings, it means people are conversating in a romantic setting. An arpeggio means an increase in tension. A strum means cut to the next scene. An upbeat tempo is a setup for something that's about to happen.
That's a wrap for this episode. School's out for the night!
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Grammarianna Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:21 pm
Buckeye Belle wrote:11. If you see someone you are inetested in, you need to take the bull by the horns.
Lots of bull flying around on this show.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Grammarianna Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:22 pm
Buckeye Belle wrote:
19. Chris Harrison hasn't memorized wedding vows as well as "This is the final rose tonight."
Perhaps because he attempted this without packing his butter knife and wine glass.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Grammarianna Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:24 pm
Buckeye Belle wrote:
18. "Destination wedding" has a new definition.
I thought this show was supposed to be a "journey" and not a destination, lol.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:26 pm
I know! That's how their hands get dirty!Grammarianna wrote:Buckeye Belle wrote:11. If you see someone you are inetested in, you need to take the bull by the horns.
Lots of bull flying around on this show.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:28 pm
And then, there is the procession.Grammarianna wrote:Buckeye Belle wrote:
18. "Destination wedding" has a new definition.
I thought this show was supposed to be a "journey" and not a destination, lol.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by bachesnettesnbearsohmy! Sun Aug 02, 2015 10:54 pm
I couldn't find any on BIP tonight...but did I really expect any to be there? Nope!Buckeye Belle wrote:
15. BIP is summer camp for adults. (But where are the adults?)
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Grammarianna Sun Aug 02, 2015 11:30 pm
They may have called the ambulance for Ashley Onion but perhaps they should have called the Waambulance for all the cry-babies on this show.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Guest Mon Aug 03, 2015 3:57 am
Just barging in to say how tickled I am to once again read and interact with Buckeye Belle and Grammarianna. Have so missed your deathless prose and fabulous sense(s) of humor since I left the motherboard. So glad you are here!!!!!!
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:08 pm
What did we learn on Episode 2?
1. Dan looks like Hugh Jackman?
2. Being stuck with both Mikey and JJ is a thumbs down
3. If you don't know whom to ask on a date, ask a crab.
I learned all of the above in the first 7 minutes.
4. A canopy bed on the beach is a perfect place to conversate.
5. It's amazing how you can like someone you didn't like at first when he says he likes you.
6. It's possible to stumble onto a tree house in the jungle
7. Whatever kind of yoga Mikey and Clare were doing looked a lot like how those crabs would look when they were, um, attempting to procreate.
More to come . . .
1. Dan looks like Hugh Jackman?
2. Being stuck with both Mikey and JJ is a thumbs down
3. If you don't know whom to ask on a date, ask a crab.
I learned all of the above in the first 7 minutes.
4. A canopy bed on the beach is a perfect place to conversate.
5. It's amazing how you can like someone you didn't like at first when he says he likes you.
6. It's possible to stumble onto a tree house in the jungle
7. Whatever kind of yoga Mikey and Clare were doing looked a lot like how those crabs would look when they were, um, attempting to procreate.
More to come . . .
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:10 pm
Thanks for your comment, Newto! Haha! I'm not going to say, "This is hard" when snarking on this show!
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:14 pm
8. Dan really does look a bit like Hugh Jackman. He is not a pomrgranate being confused for an onion.
9. If there is an open bar, it's easier to get solidified.
10. "See that the hell happens" is a good approach to dating multi-tasking.
11. BIP is fake Fake Booby Central. That's a bird we haven't seen a closeup of yet. Are they red-footed or blue-footed boobies?
12. If you're the one holding the rose, you don't have to dress up for the ceremony.
13. Okay, there had to be an onion there somewhere for Ashley S. to do all that crying. Oh, wait! It was Ashley I!
14. Apparently there are clinking butter knives in the sound track, but not in Chris Harrison's hand.
Bummer! A mere hour of this tonight. So deet dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee . . . that's all, folks!
9. If there is an open bar, it's easier to get solidified.
10. "See that the hell happens" is a good approach to dating multi-tasking.
11. BIP is fake Fake Booby Central. That's a bird we haven't seen a closeup of yet. Are they red-footed or blue-footed boobies?
12. If you're the one holding the rose, you don't have to dress up for the ceremony.
13. Okay, there had to be an onion there somewhere for Ashley S. to do all that crying. Oh, wait! It was Ashley I!
14. Apparently there are clinking butter knives in the sound track, but not in Chris Harrison's hand.
Bummer! A mere hour of this tonight. So deet dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee . . . that's all, folks!
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Glittersisgld Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:28 pm
This show can be more interesting than Bachelor or Bachelorette. There is more happening.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Starz Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:30 pm
But only if you like trash - that's what is happening.Glittersisgld wrote:This show can be more interesting than Bachelor or Bachelorette. There is more happening.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Buckeye Belle Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:30 pm
The Edit function doesn't seem to be working? Here's No. 8 with a format and spelling correction. My apologies!
8. Dan really does look a bit like Hugh Jackman. He is not a pomegranate being confused for an onion.
8. Dan really does look a bit like Hugh Jackman. He is not a pomegranate being confused for an onion.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Glittersisgld Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:32 pm
Starz wrote:But only if you like trash - that's what is happening.Glittersisgld wrote:This show can be more interesting than Bachelor or Bachelorette. There is more happening.
Well, so far, people are just getting together.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by rkc1960 Tue Aug 04, 2015 4:08 pm
And these are the two that have astounded me the most over the seasons. What a bunch of dummies.Buckeye Belle wrote:Things I've learned from the cast intros (in no particular order of importance:
2. The only way to find love after you've been on a bach show is to go on another bach show.
3. The best way to recover from a broken heart is to go on a bach show.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Starz Tue Aug 04, 2015 9:16 pm
I think it is like heroin or any other drug. BN is addicting.rkc1960 wrote:And these are the two that have astounded me the most over the seasons. What a bunch of dummies.Buckeye Belle wrote:Things I've learned from the cast intros (in no particular order of importance:
2. The only way to find love after you've been on a bach show is to go on another bach show.
3. The best way to recover from a broken heart is to go on a bach show.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by h28koala Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:43 pm
Grammarianna wrote:They may have called the ambulance for Ashley Onion but perhaps they should have called the Waambulance for all the cry-babies on this show.
HAHAHAHAHAHA favorite post of my day so far!
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by h28koala Wed Aug 05, 2015 1:50 pm
I have often wondered why people that get TERRIBLE edits by the show and are shown as being idiots, or mean, or ridiculous would want to continue to be on the show in a future capacity. I mean did Ashley I really think she looked GOOD on Chris Soule's season? Didn't she consider for a second that BIP would continue along the theme of making her look and act like a tween having a temper tantrum? And she signed up for more of it.
I think there is a certain drug like quality where people are addicted to the fame or something related to their notoriety. I guess for some being recognized in any capacity is better than not being recognized at all? Or they really do want to meet some of the people from other seasons?
This show was smart - they saw at all the loser events (dinners and cruises and big bashes) that the losing contestants would all attend would consist of all the singles hooking up with each other and some actually dating and getting married (Chris from Ali's season married a girl from another season) so this season just figured they would do it on camera and get the credit for it. So in some cases if they would bring in more of the non fame nice folks I think this could work.
I think there is a certain drug like quality where people are addicted to the fame or something related to their notoriety. I guess for some being recognized in any capacity is better than not being recognized at all? Or they really do want to meet some of the people from other seasons?
This show was smart - they saw at all the loser events (dinners and cruises and big bashes) that the losing contestants would all attend would consist of all the singles hooking up with each other and some actually dating and getting married (Chris from Ali's season married a girl from another season) so this season just figured they would do it on camera and get the credit for it. So in some cases if they would bring in more of the non fame nice folks I think this could work.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Guest Wed Aug 05, 2015 4:16 pm
Another wedding that came out of BP was Julian Blake and Holly Durst. She was Mike Stagliano's ex and Julian just swept Holly off her feet and they got engaged at the end of the program, IIRC.
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Re: Thinge we Learn from Bachelor In Paradise
by Glittersisgld Wed Aug 05, 2015 5:33 pm
I kind of liked Ashley on After Paradise. I thought she could have her own talk show. She is very good in front of a camera and an audience.
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