Dancing with the Tsars
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Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:21 pm
Dancing with The Tsars is a work of spoof/parody fiction started by WW on the ABC board a few seasons ago. I had the privilege and pleasure of collaborating, and there were other contributors from time to time. Format wise, it's a mashup of Dancing with the Stars and The Bachelor, with a few twists and turns along the way.
The entire story will be posted here just as it originally appeared. I'm going to copy it from my computer file, so the screen names (or nicknames) of the author, along with the original post number, will show at the top of each post. Any missing gap in the sequence simply means the missing post was simply a comment, and not part of the story content.
I am going to begin the content this evening, and post several episodes per day so that the entire story will be up before the DWTS season begins.
Happy reading!
The entire story will be posted here just as it originally appeared. I'm going to copy it from my computer file, so the screen names (or nicknames) of the author, along with the original post number, will show at the top of each post. Any missing gap in the sequence simply means the missing post was simply a comment, and not part of the story content.
I am going to begin the content this evening, and post several episodes per day so that the entire story will be up before the DWTS season begins.
Happy reading!
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:54 pm
1. WidderWoman4 (WW)
The suits from ABC traveled from New York to Los Angeles to meet with Mike Fleiss, head of Next Entertainment which produced The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, because he refused to leave LA and go to their offices. He told them he was too busy to take that much time away from his studio. He did agree that he and some of the Fleissmice would meet with the suits in Next Entertainment's conference room if they'd care to fly out. Neither he nor the Fleissmice had any idea what the suits wanted, and they figured they held the upper hand, whatever it was about. After all, it was the suits doing the traveling.
The suits and the Fleissmice were gathered around the conference table when, at precisely three minutes past the appointed hour, Mike Fleiss joined them and sat at the head of the table. Without bothering with introductory niceties Fleiss looked at the suits. "Your dime," he said, and sat back in his seat. The suits looked flustered for a moment, then one cleared his throat and said, "You're aware of our show Dancing with the Stars? Its seasons alternate with yours?"
Fleiss nodded. Taking their cue, so did the rest of the Fleissmice.
"You're aware we've exhausted the supply of D Listers and are now casting whomever we can find? Somebody's hairdresser's cousin? Drunks off the street? We're watching the franchise go down the drain."
Fleiss nodded again. So did the Fleissmice.
The suit cleared his throat again. "So we were wondering..." He let it trail off and looked directly at Fleiss. Fleiss looked directly back, and said nothing.
"We were wondering if you'd be interested in taking it on," the suit continued, looking like Oliver Twist begging for more gruel.
Fleiss held his look for a long time, then looked around the table at the Fleissmice. In the process he stole a look at the rest of the suits, who appeared to be quite anxious.
Finally Fleiss looked back at the main suit. "It's stale," he said. The suits nodded. "It would need a major overhaul." The suits nodded some more. "It could go any of a number of directions. It could try to become a bit more hip." The suits smiled. "Or it could go retro. Retro stuff is big these days. Downton Abbey is eating our shorts if we run a segment on Sunday night." The suits smiled and nodded.
The suits still had their "Please sir, more gruel?" expressions on their faces.
"I'd get complete artistic control, of course," Fleiss said in a thinking-out-loud tone. "I'd choose the professional cast, the amateur cast, the musicians, the singers, the judges..." The suits were nodding again. "I'd use my standard contract, in which all cast members give up total control of their entire lives to me." The nodding continued.
"I dunno, guys," he said, looking at the Fleissmice. "Should we give this a whirl?"
The Fleissmice were practiced in reading their boss. "Well, maybe," said one, pulling out a pocket calculator. "It would have to be worth our while. We already have a lot on our plates. We'd probably have some greater overhead costs than we have now: more producers, more cameras, more camera operators, more editors, that sort of thing."
"Yes, yes, of course," said the spokesuit. "We'd expect that."
"We'd like to talk among ourselves for a bit," said Fleiss. "If you'd excuse us..." As he gestured toward the door the suits rose and left the room.
"I think we can clean out their pockets, Boss," said one of the Fleissmice.
"I think so, too," replied Fleiss. He paused. "OK, let's give this another twenty minutes or so before we let them back in. You got phone calls to make or something? Pull out your smartphones and get with it."
When the suits were finally invited back in they were told that the production company was interested but needed to do some due diligence before making a final commitment. Fleiss told the suits he expected that would take a week or two, after which he would send ABC a proposed contract. The suits looked very relieved and smiled broadly. Fleiss rose, the suits rose, and hands were shaken all around.
"I've got it," Fleiss said to his crew. "We'll go retro. Ridiculous costumes. Great set designs. We'll call it... uh... 'Dancing with the Tsars'."
The Fleissmice applauded.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:14 pm
2. WW
Chris Harrison reflected on the tough time he'd had hosting The Bachelor last season. He'd become particularly discouraged reading the discussion board and seeing how many of the posters had pegged his dislike of the lead; he thought he'd been too professional for that to show. One poster, who was clearly some kind of insider, even started a thread asking who should be his replacement. He didn't know whether she was a show insider or a message board moderating company insider; if it was the former it could be the Big Guy was getting ready to tell him to pack up. So when he'd received the e-mail from the Big Guy's secretary summonsing him to headquarters he was more than a little concerned. He was ushered in to the small conference room and took a chair. At exactly three minutes past the appointed hour, the Big Guy entered the room. Almost involuntarily, Chris stood until the Big Guy sat.
As was typical, the Big Guy wasted no time. "You had the pits of a time last season," he began.
Chris gulped. "Yes, sir."
A hint of a smile played across the Big Guy's lips, then disappeared. "Kinda liked that Sharleen, though, didn't you?"
Chris nodded, keeping a poker face. "Yes, sir."
“Get any?"
Chris sat up straight, unable to credit what he'd just heard. "Wha...? No!"
"Too bad, she was primo." The shadow of a smile flickered briefly again. "Well, that's not why we're here today." He looked directly at Chris. "Do you know why we're here today?"
Chris shook his head slightly. "No, sir."
"You know we're doing the DWTT thing, right? The Dancing with the Tsars show."
"Yes, sir."
"We're making all sorts of changes, of course. Big personnel reshuffles. Casts of thousands. You know."
Chris nodded.
"So, we're letting some folks go," Fleiss continued, looking at an unopened manila file folder he'd brought with him and had placed on the conference table.
Chris nodded again, and gulped.
"Tom Bergeron, for one," Fleiss went on. "Too associated with the old show."
Chris hoped he wasn't about to hear his own name in a minute.
"And that Brooke Burke, or Burke Brooke, or whatever it is, chick. Gone."
Chris began to wonder why he was being told all this.
"And those judges. Off the bench."
Chris stared straight ahead, hoping nothing terrible was about to happen to him.
"So," Fleiss said, still looking at the closed folder, "We're getting a tried-and-true sidekick. Melissa Rycroft is available. She was, of course, off her rocker with joy at the idea."
"Sounds good," Chris affirmed, hoping his voice wasn't quavering.
"So." The Big Guy made it a statement. "You're going to do the host routine. You know, introduce the dancers and pros. Talk to them and the judges after each dance. That stuff."
Chris didn't trust his voice so he smiled and nodded.
"Think you can make it a better season than last time?"
"Yes, sir!" Chris agreed enthusiastically.
"Good. OK, go figure out how to host this stuff."
"I'm all over it!" Chris promised to the departing figure of the Big Guy. He wondered what was in the unopened folder. Maybe nothing, if he knew the Big Guy at all.
Chris Harrison reflected on the tough time he'd had hosting The Bachelor last season. He'd become particularly discouraged reading the discussion board and seeing how many of the posters had pegged his dislike of the lead; he thought he'd been too professional for that to show. One poster, who was clearly some kind of insider, even started a thread asking who should be his replacement. He didn't know whether she was a show insider or a message board moderating company insider; if it was the former it could be the Big Guy was getting ready to tell him to pack up. So when he'd received the e-mail from the Big Guy's secretary summonsing him to headquarters he was more than a little concerned. He was ushered in to the small conference room and took a chair. At exactly three minutes past the appointed hour, the Big Guy entered the room. Almost involuntarily, Chris stood until the Big Guy sat.
As was typical, the Big Guy wasted no time. "You had the pits of a time last season," he began.
Chris gulped. "Yes, sir."
A hint of a smile played across the Big Guy's lips, then disappeared. "Kinda liked that Sharleen, though, didn't you?"
Chris nodded, keeping a poker face. "Yes, sir."
“Get any?"
Chris sat up straight, unable to credit what he'd just heard. "Wha...? No!"
"Too bad, she was primo." The shadow of a smile flickered briefly again. "Well, that's not why we're here today." He looked directly at Chris. "Do you know why we're here today?"
Chris shook his head slightly. "No, sir."
"You know we're doing the DWTT thing, right? The Dancing with the Tsars show."
"Yes, sir."
"We're making all sorts of changes, of course. Big personnel reshuffles. Casts of thousands. You know."
Chris nodded.
"So, we're letting some folks go," Fleiss continued, looking at an unopened manila file folder he'd brought with him and had placed on the conference table.
Chris nodded again, and gulped.
"Tom Bergeron, for one," Fleiss went on. "Too associated with the old show."
Chris hoped he wasn't about to hear his own name in a minute.
"And that Brooke Burke, or Burke Brooke, or whatever it is, chick. Gone."
Chris began to wonder why he was being told all this.
"And those judges. Off the bench."
Chris stared straight ahead, hoping nothing terrible was about to happen to him.
"So," Fleiss said, still looking at the closed folder, "We're getting a tried-and-true sidekick. Melissa Rycroft is available. She was, of course, off her rocker with joy at the idea."
"Sounds good," Chris affirmed, hoping his voice wasn't quavering.
"So." The Big Guy made it a statement. "You're going to do the host routine. You know, introduce the dancers and pros. Talk to them and the judges after each dance. That stuff."
Chris didn't trust his voice so he smiled and nodded.
"Think you can make it a better season than last time?"
"Yes, sir!" Chris agreed enthusiastically.
"Good. OK, go figure out how to host this stuff."
"I'm all over it!" Chris promised to the departing figure of the Big Guy. He wondered what was in the unopened folder. Maybe nothing, if he knew the Big Guy at all.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:27 pm
3. WW
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today has learned exclusively that the producers of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will now be in charge of a new reality TV show called Dancing with the Tsars. The show will feature Russian tsars and tsarinas coupled with Bachpeople and coached by dancing professionals. They will be judged by a panel yet to be named. Follow what's trending on all your existing favorites and find new favorites among the royalty right here as we bring you all the information you crave.
Trending Today has learned exclusively that the producers of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette will now be in charge of a new reality TV show called Dancing with the Tsars. The show will feature Russian tsars and tsarinas coupled with Bachpeople and coached by dancing professionals. They will be judged by a panel yet to be named. Follow what's trending on all your existing favorites and find new favorites among the royalty right here as we bring you all the information you crave.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:40 pm
4. WW
Terpsichore
Ho hum, just another way to try to make us think it's something different.
__________
CabaretCandy
You know they'll give Derek a ringer. Happens every season.
__________
SoftShoe
You think there's a ringer in a bunch of old Russians?
__________
Hoofer
Are you going to watch it?
__________
DanceHallFloozy
Sure. I'll watch it for the costumes if nothing else.
__________
BoleroBob
At least tsars and tsarinas aren't D Listers.
__________
dancing with the tsars
MESSAGE BOARD
__________
Dancing Bear
What do you make of this new show?
__________
MESSAGE BOARD
__________
Dancing Bear
What do you make of this new show?
__________
Terpsichore
Ho hum, just another way to try to make us think it's something different.
__________
CabaretCandy
You know they'll give Derek a ringer. Happens every season.
__________
SoftShoe
You think there's a ringer in a bunch of old Russians?
__________
Hoofer
Are you going to watch it?
__________
DanceHallFloozy
Sure. I'll watch it for the costumes if nothing else.
__________
BoleroBob
At least tsars and tsarinas aren't D Listers.
__________
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:54 pm
5. Belle
For the next several days, the Fleissmice scurried all over the place gathering information, making charts, pounding the pavement, working the phones, surfing the 'net--so busy they barely had time for a cheese break. Fifteen minutes before the appointed time, they congregated outside the conference room, their chests puffed up in pride at the success of their efforts. The boss was going to love this! They hoped.
As the clock moved toward the hour, they straightened up, pulled in their abdomens, shuffled into the room, and took their seats. At exactly three minutes after the hour, Fleiss, the Fleissmiceter, MF, ambled into the room and took his seat at the head of the table. He cleared his throat—loudly.
As if responding to a command, the Alpha mouse stood up and handed the Fleissmiceter a red binder that was about an inch thick with paper. "It's all here, sir. From soup to nuts. The whole enchilada. The cat's meow. Oops! The whole nine yards. We hope you are pleased."
"Why do they always say 'nine yards'? Shouldn't it be ten yards?" MF muttered as if to himself. Then he looked up at his minions "I have to read this?"
The room remained silent. Telling the Fleissmeister what to read wasn't a good career move.
"I already know what's in here!" MF bellowed. "'HOW do I know?' you may ask. Well, you may not ask. But I'll tell you." MF held up a copy of Trending Today magazine. "Some rat has leaked on us. Man . . . when I get my hands on him . . ."
He held up the book and shook it. Then he opened it up and pointed to a page. "What's this about casting the royalty? Are you kidding me?"
"Um, sir," croaked the Beta mouse, his voice quivering, "er, how else are we going to do this? You do know, don't you, there aren't any tsars anymore?"
"Oh, for crying out loud--now don't start acting like a spurned bachelorette--of course I know that. In fact, I looked it up just today. Don't look so surprised; I do look things up once in awhile--especially soap opera scripts. I don't care. I want the real thing. This is a reality show, isn't it?" MF glared as he pounded the table with his fist.
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:00 pm
6. Belle
The Fleissmeister calmed down a bit, took a big breath, pushed aside the book, and with a businesslike but civil tone began a conversation:
MF: I've been thinking. Why not pull off the BEST gimmick EVER?
FM: Whatcha mean, boss?
MF: TIME! Think about it. Time. Who's ever done that?
FM: Er . . . Stark Trek? Did they go to 19th Century Russia? All I remember is the Wild West.
MF: Oh, come on! That was fiction. This will be reality. The actual historic figures. In the flesh. Dancing. What a hoot!
The Fleissmice nodded to one another with knowing looks.
FM: Boss? Don't you remember you loaned our time machine to Steven Speilberg for some project he's working on? Something about a bachpeople colony in the future. A whole new species of human. Ain't evolution great?
MF: Well, get it back, you cheeseheads. At the rate they're reproducing, it'll take a couple generations before there are enough of them to make a gene pool. And speaking of pools . . . oh, never mind. Let's get this show on the road, or into the 5th dimension, or whatever.
The meeting was adjourned. It was time to scurry again. MF hastened out of the room. As he walked past the mail slot, he deposited a thick catalogue sized envelope addressed to ABC in New York. That done, he stepped into the elevator with a hint of a smile on his face, relieved that there was not another passenger to see it.
The Fleissmeister calmed down a bit, took a big breath, pushed aside the book, and with a businesslike but civil tone began a conversation:
MF: I've been thinking. Why not pull off the BEST gimmick EVER?
FM: Whatcha mean, boss?
MF: TIME! Think about it. Time. Who's ever done that?
FM: Er . . . Stark Trek? Did they go to 19th Century Russia? All I remember is the Wild West.
MF: Oh, come on! That was fiction. This will be reality. The actual historic figures. In the flesh. Dancing. What a hoot!
The Fleissmice nodded to one another with knowing looks.
FM: Boss? Don't you remember you loaned our time machine to Steven Speilberg for some project he's working on? Something about a bachpeople colony in the future. A whole new species of human. Ain't evolution great?
MF: Well, get it back, you cheeseheads. At the rate they're reproducing, it'll take a couple generations before there are enough of them to make a gene pool. And speaking of pools . . . oh, never mind. Let's get this show on the road, or into the 5th dimension, or whatever.
The meeting was adjourned. It was time to scurry again. MF hastened out of the room. As he walked past the mail slot, he deposited a thick catalogue sized envelope addressed to ABC in New York. That done, he stepped into the elevator with a hint of a smile on his face, relieved that there was not another passenger to see it.
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:18 pm
7. Belle
Joey Pulletser, Managing Editor of Trending Today, the prize-winning rag for all time, addressed his staff at a secret meeting held just hours before bedtime of the next issue.
"We've just gotten a tip from our buddy over at show. Ha ha! The Fleissmesiter sure doesn't know his rodents as well as he thinks he does! We're about to prove we're not holed up in some Siberian igloo. No no, give us those wide open spaces and gullible reality characters! And speaking of reality, you'll never guess what our prying eyes have looked upon in these last few days. YES! I know! The BIGGEST scoop EVER! The dancers! The readers come here; we come through.
"Yes, I know. The bachpeople on our list are pretty obvious when you think about it. I can see Reid now dancing the Paso Doble, shouting "Soy grande!" and charging, waving a cape. Is that how it goes? I forget.
"Now for the royalty, I had to scour the history books. OK, I surfed that bicyclepedia or whatever it is. Good grief! There was stuff in there I didn't even know. Has the Fleisster gone all cultural on us? What a twist that would be. But twist or turn, oh, I'm so proud of my topical metaphors--heck I'm proud I know what a metaphor is (I do, don't I?)-- our readers will be our partners every step of the way! I just hope they're not channelling Len Goodman!
Okay, copycats, let's roll the presses!
8. Belle
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today is proud to announce, exclusively, the dancing cast for the inaugural season of the highly anticipated ABC show, Dancing with the Tsars.
Tsar - Tsarina Bachperson
Boris Godonov Vienna
Peter the Great Tessa Horst
Ivan the Terrible Courtney
Alexander I Sharleen
Alexander II Jillian
Peter II Michelle Money
Sophia Jake
Elizabeth Ames
Catherine the Great Reid
Irina Ben
Anna Tanner
Maria Bentley
We are following this historical tour de farce with great mustard and relish. Don't miss our next report!
- The Editors
Joey Pulletser, Managing Editor of Trending Today, the prize-winning rag for all time, addressed his staff at a secret meeting held just hours before bedtime of the next issue.
"We've just gotten a tip from our buddy over at show. Ha ha! The Fleissmesiter sure doesn't know his rodents as well as he thinks he does! We're about to prove we're not holed up in some Siberian igloo. No no, give us those wide open spaces and gullible reality characters! And speaking of reality, you'll never guess what our prying eyes have looked upon in these last few days. YES! I know! The BIGGEST scoop EVER! The dancers! The readers come here; we come through.
"Yes, I know. The bachpeople on our list are pretty obvious when you think about it. I can see Reid now dancing the Paso Doble, shouting "Soy grande!" and charging, waving a cape. Is that how it goes? I forget.
"Now for the royalty, I had to scour the history books. OK, I surfed that bicyclepedia or whatever it is. Good grief! There was stuff in there I didn't even know. Has the Fleisster gone all cultural on us? What a twist that would be. But twist or turn, oh, I'm so proud of my topical metaphors--heck I'm proud I know what a metaphor is (I do, don't I?)-- our readers will be our partners every step of the way! I just hope they're not channelling Len Goodman!
Okay, copycats, let's roll the presses!
8. Belle
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today is proud to announce, exclusively, the dancing cast for the inaugural season of the highly anticipated ABC show, Dancing with the Tsars.
Tsar - Tsarina Bachperson
Boris Godonov Vienna
Peter the Great Tessa Horst
Ivan the Terrible Courtney
Alexander I Sharleen
Alexander II Jillian
Peter II Michelle Money
Sophia Jake
Elizabeth Ames
Catherine the Great Reid
Irina Ben
Anna Tanner
Maria Bentley
We are following this historical tour de farce with great mustard and relish. Don't miss our next report!
- The Editors
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:25 pm
9. Belle
In the bach world, multitasking had an entirely different connotation than in the real world. Think about it. Do you really believe a Fleissmouse could do several things at a time? Probably not. But he could have several skills he could ply one at a time.
And for the next week, that skill was carpentry.
It had been decided to host the cast of Dancing with the Tsars in the bach mansion. Has anyone done the math? That's 36 people! Not to mention staff, including a chef specializing in Russian cuisine, a masseur and masseuse to tend to the dancers' sore muscles, a translater, and the team doctor.
Rooms had to be converted. Extra hot tubs had to be installed. A rehearsal studio had to be set up in the basement. Food and supplies had to be stocked. Extra wine and vodka had to be ordered. Communications equipment had to be activated. The rooms had to be bugged. (Oh, come on now, are you really surprised?)
In order to accomplish all this work, the Fleissmice were bribed with extra rations of designer cheese and a case of peanut butter crackers.
The dance coaches were assigned to the guest house. The royalty had the rooms on the second floor. The producers could only hope that sharing baths would bring some comic relief from the drama that was sure to erupt among the kings and queens. The bachpeople, who were used to close quarters, would bunk in the attic.
For this enterprise, all went amazingly well. One by one, the items on the "to do list" were completed just as the bachpeople and coaches were checking in. The last task, right before the royalty was scheduled to arrive, was to hose down the driveway with a special mixture to make it glisten under the lights of the cameras. The stage was set.
In the bach world, multitasking had an entirely different connotation than in the real world. Think about it. Do you really believe a Fleissmouse could do several things at a time? Probably not. But he could have several skills he could ply one at a time.
And for the next week, that skill was carpentry.
It had been decided to host the cast of Dancing with the Tsars in the bach mansion. Has anyone done the math? That's 36 people! Not to mention staff, including a chef specializing in Russian cuisine, a masseur and masseuse to tend to the dancers' sore muscles, a translater, and the team doctor.
Rooms had to be converted. Extra hot tubs had to be installed. A rehearsal studio had to be set up in the basement. Food and supplies had to be stocked. Extra wine and vodka had to be ordered. Communications equipment had to be activated. The rooms had to be bugged. (Oh, come on now, are you really surprised?)
In order to accomplish all this work, the Fleissmice were bribed with extra rations of designer cheese and a case of peanut butter crackers.
The dance coaches were assigned to the guest house. The royalty had the rooms on the second floor. The producers could only hope that sharing baths would bring some comic relief from the drama that was sure to erupt among the kings and queens. The bachpeople, who were used to close quarters, would bunk in the attic.
For this enterprise, all went amazingly well. One by one, the items on the "to do list" were completed just as the bachpeople and coaches were checking in. The last task, right before the royalty was scheduled to arrive, was to hose down the driveway with a special mixture to make it glisten under the lights of the cameras. The stage was set.
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:37 pm
10. WW
The setting was, of course, comfortable to the bachpeople. They stood in front of the mansion that was so familiar to them and to their audiences, waiting for the limos to arrive.
"You can't imagine the arrangements that had to be made to get them here," Chris Harrison said. "Half these royals did something dastardly to the other half in order to become tsar or tsarina. You know how we usually have five contestants share a limo? Not with this bunch. Each one has his or her own limo. They were all too regal to share a ride, and particularly with somebody they've hated for centuries." Chris paused, then shook his head. "A bunch of people who think they're entitled to have whatever they want mixed in with some other people they hate, and they're all going to compete with each other." Chris smiled ruefully. "What could go wrong?"
The sound of an approaching limo caused Chris to snap to attention. The car rolled to a stop in front of the mansion's entrance and a liveried footman opened the rear door. As the passenger stepped out, Chris moved forward to announce him.
"Tsar Boris the First of the House of Godunov, Tsar of Russia," Chris called out in his most magesterial voice. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Vienna Girardi, and your dancing coach, Tristan MacManus." Tristan, who was Irish and accustomed to royalty, bowed. "Damned if I'll bow," muttered Vienna under her breath, "especially to some ancient Russian." She smiled and took Boris's arm, and as the three of them entered the mansion the sound of the next limo was heard.
"Tsar Peter the First of the House of Romanov, also called Peter the Great, Emperor of All Russia," Chris called out. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Tessa Horst, and your dancing coach, Tony Dovolani. Tessa and Tony were astonished at the tsar's height of six feet, eight inches. They entered the mansion together, the cast members dwarfed by the royal.
"Tsar Ivan the Fourth of the House of Rurikovich, also called Ivan the Terrible, Tsar of All the Russias," Chris intoned, keeping a bit of a distance. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Courtney Robertson, and your dancing coach, Maksim Chmerkovskiy." Courtney looked up at the tsar, twinkled her eyes at him and said, "I'll bet you're not really so terrible." They walked arm-in-arm into the mansion.
"Tsar Alexander the First of the House of Romanov, also called Alexander the Blessed, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris announced. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Sharleen Joynt, and your dancing coach, Louis VanAmstel." They strolled into the mansion.
"Tsar Alexander the Second of the House of Romanov, also called Alexander the Liberator, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris proclaimed. "May I present your dancing partner, Jillian Harris, and your dancing coach, Val Chmerkovskiy."
"Tsar Peter the Second of the House of Romanov, Emperor of All Russia," Chris declared. "May I present your dancing partner, Michelle Money, and your dancing coach, Mark Ballas."
"Tsarina Sophia of the House of Romanov, Regent of Russia," Chris reported. "May I present your dancing partner, Jake Pavelka, and your dancing coach, Karina Smirnoff."
"Tsarina Elizabeth of the House of Romanov, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris affirmed. "May I present your dancing partner, Ames Brown, and your dancing coach, Kym Johnson."
"Tsarina Catherine the Second of the House of Romanov, also known as Catherine the Great, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris annunciated. "May I present your dancing partner, Reid Rosenthal, and your dancing coaches, Derek and Julianne Hough."
"Tsarina Irina of the House of Romanov, Princess of Russia," Chris said a little less loudly. Nobody was quite sure if she had really ever been a tsarina. "May I present your dancing partner, Ben Flajnik, and your dancing coach, Peta Murgatroyd."
"Tsarina Anna of the House of Romanov, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris called out in the voice he'd been using before Irina. "May I present your dancing partner, Tanner Pope, and your dancing coach, Anna Trebunskaya."
"Tsarina Maria of the House of Romanov, Empress Consort of All the Russias (and Tsarina for maybe a week) and Dowager Empress," Chris mumbled the middle part but loudly proclaimed the rest of it. "May I present your dancing partner, Bentley Williams, and your dancing coach, Cheryl Burke."
Chris watched as the last of them entered the mansion. Thinking his mike had been cut off, he muttered "Holy moley, what a crazy group this is!" The producers knew a good out-take when they heard one.
The setting was, of course, comfortable to the bachpeople. They stood in front of the mansion that was so familiar to them and to their audiences, waiting for the limos to arrive.
"You can't imagine the arrangements that had to be made to get them here," Chris Harrison said. "Half these royals did something dastardly to the other half in order to become tsar or tsarina. You know how we usually have five contestants share a limo? Not with this bunch. Each one has his or her own limo. They were all too regal to share a ride, and particularly with somebody they've hated for centuries." Chris paused, then shook his head. "A bunch of people who think they're entitled to have whatever they want mixed in with some other people they hate, and they're all going to compete with each other." Chris smiled ruefully. "What could go wrong?"
The sound of an approaching limo caused Chris to snap to attention. The car rolled to a stop in front of the mansion's entrance and a liveried footman opened the rear door. As the passenger stepped out, Chris moved forward to announce him.
"Tsar Boris the First of the House of Godunov, Tsar of Russia," Chris called out in his most magesterial voice. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Vienna Girardi, and your dancing coach, Tristan MacManus." Tristan, who was Irish and accustomed to royalty, bowed. "Damned if I'll bow," muttered Vienna under her breath, "especially to some ancient Russian." She smiled and took Boris's arm, and as the three of them entered the mansion the sound of the next limo was heard.
"Tsar Peter the First of the House of Romanov, also called Peter the Great, Emperor of All Russia," Chris called out. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Tessa Horst, and your dancing coach, Tony Dovolani. Tessa and Tony were astonished at the tsar's height of six feet, eight inches. They entered the mansion together, the cast members dwarfed by the royal.
"Tsar Ivan the Fourth of the House of Rurikovich, also called Ivan the Terrible, Tsar of All the Russias," Chris intoned, keeping a bit of a distance. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Courtney Robertson, and your dancing coach, Maksim Chmerkovskiy." Courtney looked up at the tsar, twinkled her eyes at him and said, "I'll bet you're not really so terrible." They walked arm-in-arm into the mansion.
"Tsar Alexander the First of the House of Romanov, also called Alexander the Blessed, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris announced. "May I present to you your dancing partner, Sharleen Joynt, and your dancing coach, Louis VanAmstel." They strolled into the mansion.
"Tsar Alexander the Second of the House of Romanov, also called Alexander the Liberator, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris proclaimed. "May I present your dancing partner, Jillian Harris, and your dancing coach, Val Chmerkovskiy."
"Tsar Peter the Second of the House of Romanov, Emperor of All Russia," Chris declared. "May I present your dancing partner, Michelle Money, and your dancing coach, Mark Ballas."
"Tsarina Sophia of the House of Romanov, Regent of Russia," Chris reported. "May I present your dancing partner, Jake Pavelka, and your dancing coach, Karina Smirnoff."
"Tsarina Elizabeth of the House of Romanov, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris affirmed. "May I present your dancing partner, Ames Brown, and your dancing coach, Kym Johnson."
"Tsarina Catherine the Second of the House of Romanov, also known as Catherine the Great, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris annunciated. "May I present your dancing partner, Reid Rosenthal, and your dancing coaches, Derek and Julianne Hough."
"Tsarina Irina of the House of Romanov, Princess of Russia," Chris said a little less loudly. Nobody was quite sure if she had really ever been a tsarina. "May I present your dancing partner, Ben Flajnik, and your dancing coach, Peta Murgatroyd."
"Tsarina Anna of the House of Romanov, Empress and Autocrat of All the Russias," Chris called out in the voice he'd been using before Irina. "May I present your dancing partner, Tanner Pope, and your dancing coach, Anna Trebunskaya."
"Tsarina Maria of the House of Romanov, Empress Consort of All the Russias (and Tsarina for maybe a week) and Dowager Empress," Chris mumbled the middle part but loudly proclaimed the rest of it. "May I present your dancing partner, Bentley Williams, and your dancing coach, Cheryl Burke."
Chris watched as the last of them entered the mansion. Thinking his mike had been cut off, he muttered "Holy moley, what a crazy group this is!" The producers knew a good out-take when they heard one.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:52 pm
11. Belle
Independent Studios - New York
The Outsider Set
Control Room: Okay, Lara. Take your mark. Ten seconds to air. 5-4-3-2-Roll!
Lara: All riiiiiiight! We're back! And here behind me are the the team coaches for Dancing with the Tsars! They are no strangers to any of us, but their new role might be a challenge. Let's go over here and talk a little--find out what they are looking forward to and how they plan to get their couples into ballroom shape.
Lara: Hi, Tristan. This is Tristan MacManus, folks. Now, you are going to be working with Vienna and Boris Godunov. That's a handful, isn't it?
Tristan: Well, I have high hopes for them. I know Vienna is competitive, and Boris is no stranger to very ruthless people. He was a loyal advisor to Ivan the Terrible, you know. He probably knows how to work a room.
Lara: That's fascinating, Tristan. I have a feeling we're going to learn a lot of history this season. Let's talk to Tony Dovolani for a minute. Hey, Tony! It's great to see you again. What made you sign on for this unique season?
Tony: Well, when I was told I'd be coaching Peter the Great and Tessa, I couldn't refuse. I mean, who could resist a command performance with the most famous Russian Tsar? And Tessa is such a lovely lady. She will be a joy to work with.
Lara: You're such a gentleman, Tony. I know this couple is in very good hands. Okay, we're moving on to favorite bad boy, Maks Chmerkovskiy. Hey Maks, what lured you back to the ballfoom? How do you think Ivan the Terrible and Courtney will fare with the judges?
Maks: Aha! You know I can make a dancer out of anyone, right? If my team doesn't win, it's because the judges don't recognize real talent when they see it. With the new judges, it may be different. Anyway, this pair is coming to the ballroom with guns blazing. The Terrible Two, I think we'll call them.
Lara: Ha ha! Good luck with that! Now we're here with one of my favorites, Louis Van Amstel. So, Louis, what do you bring to the table for Alexander the First and Sharleen?
Louis: The way I see it, we have stability and musicality. A lot of dedication and determination, too. I think I can choreograph for them so they bring true artistry before the judges and viewing audience. I'm excited to get started.
Lara: Thank you, Louis. Now I have to have a few words with Val Chmerkovskiy. Val, it's great to see you again. You bring so much chenistry to the show.
Val: Thank you.
Lara: Oh, you're so welcome. Now, you've been assigned to Alexander the Second and Jillian. What goes through your mind when you are planning how to present the dances for these characters?
Val: Hmm. You mentioned chemistry, and I think that is the key. I certainly had it with Kelly Monaco, you know. These two may have had their glory short-lived, but they burned with intensity. I know we can channel that into their dancing.
Lara: I hope you are right, Val. Good luck to you. All right. Now I'm with Mark Ballas. Mark, you dance with so much energy. How can you transate that into victory on the dance floor for Peter the Second and Michelle Money?
Mark: Lara, from what I know about them, they both seem willing to take instruction. That is so important. If they do their part and follow my coaching, they might just surprise everyone.
Lara: I know all your fans out there will be pulling for you, Mark. Now we need to take a quick pause. We'll be back to hang with the rest of the coaches in no time!
Control Room: Cut to break!
Independent Studios - New York
The Outsider Set
Control Room: Okay, Lara. Take your mark. Ten seconds to air. 5-4-3-2-Roll!
Lara: All riiiiiiight! We're back! And here behind me are the the team coaches for Dancing with the Tsars! They are no strangers to any of us, but their new role might be a challenge. Let's go over here and talk a little--find out what they are looking forward to and how they plan to get their couples into ballroom shape.
Lara: Hi, Tristan. This is Tristan MacManus, folks. Now, you are going to be working with Vienna and Boris Godunov. That's a handful, isn't it?
Tristan: Well, I have high hopes for them. I know Vienna is competitive, and Boris is no stranger to very ruthless people. He was a loyal advisor to Ivan the Terrible, you know. He probably knows how to work a room.
Lara: That's fascinating, Tristan. I have a feeling we're going to learn a lot of history this season. Let's talk to Tony Dovolani for a minute. Hey, Tony! It's great to see you again. What made you sign on for this unique season?
Tony: Well, when I was told I'd be coaching Peter the Great and Tessa, I couldn't refuse. I mean, who could resist a command performance with the most famous Russian Tsar? And Tessa is such a lovely lady. She will be a joy to work with.
Lara: You're such a gentleman, Tony. I know this couple is in very good hands. Okay, we're moving on to favorite bad boy, Maks Chmerkovskiy. Hey Maks, what lured you back to the ballfoom? How do you think Ivan the Terrible and Courtney will fare with the judges?
Maks: Aha! You know I can make a dancer out of anyone, right? If my team doesn't win, it's because the judges don't recognize real talent when they see it. With the new judges, it may be different. Anyway, this pair is coming to the ballroom with guns blazing. The Terrible Two, I think we'll call them.
Lara: Ha ha! Good luck with that! Now we're here with one of my favorites, Louis Van Amstel. So, Louis, what do you bring to the table for Alexander the First and Sharleen?
Louis: The way I see it, we have stability and musicality. A lot of dedication and determination, too. I think I can choreograph for them so they bring true artistry before the judges and viewing audience. I'm excited to get started.
Lara: Thank you, Louis. Now I have to have a few words with Val Chmerkovskiy. Val, it's great to see you again. You bring so much chenistry to the show.
Val: Thank you.
Lara: Oh, you're so welcome. Now, you've been assigned to Alexander the Second and Jillian. What goes through your mind when you are planning how to present the dances for these characters?
Val: Hmm. You mentioned chemistry, and I think that is the key. I certainly had it with Kelly Monaco, you know. These two may have had their glory short-lived, but they burned with intensity. I know we can channel that into their dancing.
Lara: I hope you are right, Val. Good luck to you. All right. Now I'm with Mark Ballas. Mark, you dance with so much energy. How can you transate that into victory on the dance floor for Peter the Second and Michelle Money?
Mark: Lara, from what I know about them, they both seem willing to take instruction. That is so important. If they do their part and follow my coaching, they might just surprise everyone.
Lara: I know all your fans out there will be pulling for you, Mark. Now we need to take a quick pause. We'll be back to hang with the rest of the coaches in no time!
Control Room: Cut to break!
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Belle
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:07 pm
12. Belle
Lara: Okaaaaaaaay: Welcome back! We've been talking to this season's coaches for Dancing with the Tsars. Everyone seems to be very excited about the new format. Let's ask Karina Smirnoff.
Karina: Yes, I'll be working with Tsarina Sophia and Jake. They seem to have a lot in common--both very very demanding. Now, that could work well for them if they are demanding the mirror ball trophy, or . . .
Lara: It could end up being very dramatic, I must say. I hope the producers don't have to order extra vodka! Oh, here's Kym Johnson. Kim, my friend, you are so elegant and gracious. Aren't your thrilled to be working with Tsarina Elizabeth and Ames?
Kym: Oh, indeed! A renaissance man with a monarch for the ages! What could be a better match? I can't wait for the viewing audience to see their performances. They add their own creative touch to their routines. I'm honored to have this assignment.
Lara: Well, we can't wait, either! Ames was a great fan favorite and I know he will charm us all. The beautiful woman who created the Russian winter palace should also look beautiful in his arms. What a pair! Why . . . Derek and Julianne Hough are here together! This should be interesting.
13. Belle
Lara: Hi, guys! What do we have here? Two for the price of one?
Derek: You could say that.
Lara: You know they're going to say the season's rigged . . .
Julianne: Of course it is! Just kidding. The truth is, both of us have other commitments. But we thought we could do the show if they'd let us tag team, so to speak. And they did!
Lara: Of course they did!
Julianne: Me--I was curious to meet Reid up close and personal. I was dying to see what all the fuss has been about. He really is a cutie. And a good sport, too!
Derek: Well, I certainly didn't get the short straw with Catherine the Great. She's awesome! She's so up to date, she could befrom Kansas City! And she can do it all. We're so eager to show them off.
Lara: It does seem that almost every season one of you hits a home run. I know everyone's looking forward to what you are cooking up for us this time. Have fun, you two! Oh, we have to have a few words with Peta Murgatroyd. She's signed on to coach Tsarina Irina and Ben Flajnik.
Lara: Welcome back, Peta! I have a question for you. I'm not going to sugar-coat this. One could say both of your dancers were also-rans in their respective roles. How do you think that will affect their experience on this show?
Peta: Oh, I'm sure they will be highly motivated! Maybe they'll think they have something to prove. I know it's hard, and hard work, but so many times I've heard the dancers say that being on the show is a life-changing experience.
Lara: That's right, Peta. It's a wonderful thing to see how our dancers are rejuvenated. I wish you all the best. We're getting close to the end. Here's the Dancing wiht the Stars sweetheart, Anna Trebunskaya. Anna, you've partnered with such a variety of dancers. How do Tsarina Anna and Tanner Pope appeal to you as a couple? And do you think the viewers will confuse you two Annas?
Anna: It's going to be fun. We'll have to make up some nicknames, won't we! Maybe we could call the tsarina "Captain" since she was involved in the military. We do have one advantage, you know. There is no problem about Tanner stepping on his partner's feet. We just need to spend some time training him not to look at them too much!
Lara: Isn't that the truth! I know everyone will enjoy them. Thank you, Anna. Now, bringing up the rear, we have Cheryl Burke.
Lara: Cheryl, you are thought of as one of the hottest dancers. That's quite a compliment. You're going to be coaching Tsarina Maria and Bentley, from Ashley's season. Do you know what happened there? Oh, you do. How do you think that factors into your plans? Their respective seasons were so short lived.
Cheryl: I'm not worried. Heat is good. Heat is fuel. If we channel it into their dance moves we might have a winning combination. I'm up to the task!
Lara: And I hope they're not too hot not to cool down. It would be a shame if this pair turned out to be just one of those things.
Lara: So there you have it--your coaches' take on the upcoming season. Aren't we getting excited? Don't forget, now. The live competition begins three weeks from next Monday on ABC.
Control room: That's a wrap. Nice job, Lara. By the way, when are you going to be on the show?
Lara: Okaaaaaaaay: Welcome back! We've been talking to this season's coaches for Dancing with the Tsars. Everyone seems to be very excited about the new format. Let's ask Karina Smirnoff.
Karina: Yes, I'll be working with Tsarina Sophia and Jake. They seem to have a lot in common--both very very demanding. Now, that could work well for them if they are demanding the mirror ball trophy, or . . .
Lara: It could end up being very dramatic, I must say. I hope the producers don't have to order extra vodka! Oh, here's Kym Johnson. Kim, my friend, you are so elegant and gracious. Aren't your thrilled to be working with Tsarina Elizabeth and Ames?
Kym: Oh, indeed! A renaissance man with a monarch for the ages! What could be a better match? I can't wait for the viewing audience to see their performances. They add their own creative touch to their routines. I'm honored to have this assignment.
Lara: Well, we can't wait, either! Ames was a great fan favorite and I know he will charm us all. The beautiful woman who created the Russian winter palace should also look beautiful in his arms. What a pair! Why . . . Derek and Julianne Hough are here together! This should be interesting.
13. Belle
Lara: Hi, guys! What do we have here? Two for the price of one?
Derek: You could say that.
Lara: You know they're going to say the season's rigged . . .
Julianne: Of course it is! Just kidding. The truth is, both of us have other commitments. But we thought we could do the show if they'd let us tag team, so to speak. And they did!
Lara: Of course they did!
Julianne: Me--I was curious to meet Reid up close and personal. I was dying to see what all the fuss has been about. He really is a cutie. And a good sport, too!
Derek: Well, I certainly didn't get the short straw with Catherine the Great. She's awesome! She's so up to date, she could befrom Kansas City! And she can do it all. We're so eager to show them off.
Lara: It does seem that almost every season one of you hits a home run. I know everyone's looking forward to what you are cooking up for us this time. Have fun, you two! Oh, we have to have a few words with Peta Murgatroyd. She's signed on to coach Tsarina Irina and Ben Flajnik.
Lara: Welcome back, Peta! I have a question for you. I'm not going to sugar-coat this. One could say both of your dancers were also-rans in their respective roles. How do you think that will affect their experience on this show?
Peta: Oh, I'm sure they will be highly motivated! Maybe they'll think they have something to prove. I know it's hard, and hard work, but so many times I've heard the dancers say that being on the show is a life-changing experience.
Lara: That's right, Peta. It's a wonderful thing to see how our dancers are rejuvenated. I wish you all the best. We're getting close to the end. Here's the Dancing wiht the Stars sweetheart, Anna Trebunskaya. Anna, you've partnered with such a variety of dancers. How do Tsarina Anna and Tanner Pope appeal to you as a couple? And do you think the viewers will confuse you two Annas?
Anna: It's going to be fun. We'll have to make up some nicknames, won't we! Maybe we could call the tsarina "Captain" since she was involved in the military. We do have one advantage, you know. There is no problem about Tanner stepping on his partner's feet. We just need to spend some time training him not to look at them too much!
Lara: Isn't that the truth! I know everyone will enjoy them. Thank you, Anna. Now, bringing up the rear, we have Cheryl Burke.
Lara: Cheryl, you are thought of as one of the hottest dancers. That's quite a compliment. You're going to be coaching Tsarina Maria and Bentley, from Ashley's season. Do you know what happened there? Oh, you do. How do you think that factors into your plans? Their respective seasons were so short lived.
Cheryl: I'm not worried. Heat is good. Heat is fuel. If we channel it into their dance moves we might have a winning combination. I'm up to the task!
Lara: And I hope they're not too hot not to cool down. It would be a shame if this pair turned out to be just one of those things.
Lara: So there you have it--your coaches' take on the upcoming season. Aren't we getting excited? Don't forget, now. The live competition begins three weeks from next Monday on ABC.
Control room: That's a wrap. Nice job, Lara. By the way, when are you going to be on the show?
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Belle
Buckeye Belle- Power User
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:23 pm
14. WW
Chris Harrison had been on the phone with Lara's people, being transferred from one to another, for about thirty minutes before he was finally put through to the celebrity, herself. He almost couldn't believe he'd finally gotten her.
"Lara? It's Chris." There was a pause. "Harrison."
"Oh!," came the reply. "I enjoyed talking with all the folks who are going to be on your new show. I'm looking forward to seeing it."
"Well," said Chris in a magnanimous voice, "what if I could get you a preview? You and The Outsider would have exclusive rights to visit a rehearsal?"
"Ohhhhhh," came a softly disappointed sound from Lara. "I don't know if I have time. When did you have in mind?"
"We can be flexible," assured Chris. "There's always somebody rehearsing. They're really driven."
"Hmmmmm... well... I don't know..." She cleared her throat. "I kind of doubt it."
Chris was stunned. He was sure she'd jump at the chance.
"Have your people call my people," she said, finally. "Maybe we can do something."
"DAMMIT!" Chris shouted after he rang off. "Anybody else would be all over that."
He knew he needed to wait until his blood pressure returned to normal before he started wending his way through Lara's people. A half-hour later he called and was pleasantly surprised that it took only to the third person to find out who controlled Lara's schedule. He was almost surprised, and certainly delighted, when he was informed that, because of a cancellation, Lara could be available the next day. She would arrive at 2:00 pm, he was told. This time he was happy when he pushed the little red OFF button.
"Who's supposed to be in here at 2:00," Chris asked one of the Fleissmice the next day.
"Boris I, with Vienna and Tristan," came the reply. "That's two minutes from now. The previous group has already left and they're already in."
"OK, that'll work," Chris said, smiling. "I'll wait out here to greet Lara, then we can go in together."
On the stroke of the hour Lara arrived with only one assistant. Chris ushered them into the big rehearsal studio and introduced the parties. The camera operator set up along the side of the room and Vienna smiled at him. The practice began and Lara took notes on what she was seeing. Chris observed with satisfaction that Lara seemed genuinely interested in how the rehearsal progressed.
Tristan took them through some complicated steps, warning them that it would be easy to get their feet tangled.
Boris and Vienna tried the steps several times without incident, so Tristan then showed them the following steps. After a few successful practices, Tristan had them put both parts together. At that point, unfortunately, their feet became entangled and Vienna fell.
"Ow!" Vienna cried, grabbing her right ankle. "Owwwwwwwwwwww!"
Tristan rushed to her immediately. Boris stood back, waiting for the servants -- he assumed there would be servants -- to come do something.
"Can you put any weight on it?" Tristan asked, helping her to stand.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Vienna screamed as she tried, tears starting to fall. She looked at Boris. "You clumsy oaf!" She sat back down on the floor. Boris looked behind him to see whom she might have been addressing but didn't see anyone there.
Tristan pulled out his cell phone and punched in some numbers. More quickly than one could imagine, the door opened and a man in a suit, carrying a black bag, entered the room.
"I'm Dr Zhivago," he said. "I see this young lady on the floor must be in need of my attention."
At this, Lara became even more interested and joined those standing near Vienna. She introduced herself. "May I get the correct spelling of your name?" she asked him. He spelled it for her. "First name is Yuri," he added, and spelled that, too.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" yelled Vienna, unhappy that the doctor's attention had been momentarily diverted away from her.
Dr Zhivago called for an ice pack, which Tristan had already thought to go get. The doctor wrapped it around Vienna's ankle as he continued to check her vital signs.
The studio door opened again and the next group came tentatively into the room. Jake led Sophia and Karina in, but they stopped when they saw Vienna on the floor. Vienna looked up.
"You!" she spat at Jake. "Just what I need right now is you!" She paused. "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" she wailed.
"Oh, milk it, honey," Jake retorted. "See if anybody's buying it this time." He led his group back out.
Faster than Vienna could howl again, Jake re-opened the door. "How long are you guys going to be in here, anyway?"
Tristan turned and looked at him. "I don't know. A few more minutes until the doctor decides what needs to happen next."
"Hmmmph," Jake snorted. "You know she did this on purpose just to deny me and my group rehearsal time." As he left, he slammed the door shut.
Chris Harrison had been on the phone with Lara's people, being transferred from one to another, for about thirty minutes before he was finally put through to the celebrity, herself. He almost couldn't believe he'd finally gotten her.
"Lara? It's Chris." There was a pause. "Harrison."
"Oh!," came the reply. "I enjoyed talking with all the folks who are going to be on your new show. I'm looking forward to seeing it."
"Well," said Chris in a magnanimous voice, "what if I could get you a preview? You and The Outsider would have exclusive rights to visit a rehearsal?"
"Ohhhhhh," came a softly disappointed sound from Lara. "I don't know if I have time. When did you have in mind?"
"We can be flexible," assured Chris. "There's always somebody rehearsing. They're really driven."
"Hmmmmm... well... I don't know..." She cleared her throat. "I kind of doubt it."
Chris was stunned. He was sure she'd jump at the chance.
"Have your people call my people," she said, finally. "Maybe we can do something."
"DAMMIT!" Chris shouted after he rang off. "Anybody else would be all over that."
He knew he needed to wait until his blood pressure returned to normal before he started wending his way through Lara's people. A half-hour later he called and was pleasantly surprised that it took only to the third person to find out who controlled Lara's schedule. He was almost surprised, and certainly delighted, when he was informed that, because of a cancellation, Lara could be available the next day. She would arrive at 2:00 pm, he was told. This time he was happy when he pushed the little red OFF button.
"Who's supposed to be in here at 2:00," Chris asked one of the Fleissmice the next day.
"Boris I, with Vienna and Tristan," came the reply. "That's two minutes from now. The previous group has already left and they're already in."
"OK, that'll work," Chris said, smiling. "I'll wait out here to greet Lara, then we can go in together."
On the stroke of the hour Lara arrived with only one assistant. Chris ushered them into the big rehearsal studio and introduced the parties. The camera operator set up along the side of the room and Vienna smiled at him. The practice began and Lara took notes on what she was seeing. Chris observed with satisfaction that Lara seemed genuinely interested in how the rehearsal progressed.
Tristan took them through some complicated steps, warning them that it would be easy to get their feet tangled.
Boris and Vienna tried the steps several times without incident, so Tristan then showed them the following steps. After a few successful practices, Tristan had them put both parts together. At that point, unfortunately, their feet became entangled and Vienna fell.
"Ow!" Vienna cried, grabbing her right ankle. "Owwwwwwwwwwww!"
Tristan rushed to her immediately. Boris stood back, waiting for the servants -- he assumed there would be servants -- to come do something.
"Can you put any weight on it?" Tristan asked, helping her to stand.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Vienna screamed as she tried, tears starting to fall. She looked at Boris. "You clumsy oaf!" She sat back down on the floor. Boris looked behind him to see whom she might have been addressing but didn't see anyone there.
Tristan pulled out his cell phone and punched in some numbers. More quickly than one could imagine, the door opened and a man in a suit, carrying a black bag, entered the room.
"I'm Dr Zhivago," he said. "I see this young lady on the floor must be in need of my attention."
At this, Lara became even more interested and joined those standing near Vienna. She introduced herself. "May I get the correct spelling of your name?" she asked him. He spelled it for her. "First name is Yuri," he added, and spelled that, too.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" yelled Vienna, unhappy that the doctor's attention had been momentarily diverted away from her.
Dr Zhivago called for an ice pack, which Tristan had already thought to go get. The doctor wrapped it around Vienna's ankle as he continued to check her vital signs.
The studio door opened again and the next group came tentatively into the room. Jake led Sophia and Karina in, but they stopped when they saw Vienna on the floor. Vienna looked up.
"You!" she spat at Jake. "Just what I need right now is you!" She paused. "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" she wailed.
"Oh, milk it, honey," Jake retorted. "See if anybody's buying it this time." He led his group back out.
Faster than Vienna could howl again, Jake re-opened the door. "How long are you guys going to be in here, anyway?"
Tristan turned and looked at him. "I don't know. A few more minutes until the doctor decides what needs to happen next."
"Hmmmph," Jake snorted. "You know she did this on purpose just to deny me and my group rehearsal time." As he left, he slammed the door shut.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:33 pm
15. Belle
Vienna continued to whimper. The doctor, seeing nothing more serious then a mild strain, addressed Tristan.
"She'll be fine after a good night's rest."
Then he lowered his voice and moved a little closer to Tristan, out of Vienna's hearing.
"I'm going to prescribe a double dose of coddling and fawning. That should raise her spirits in no time. I have seen many cases like this, and the right bedside manner works every time."
He turned, nodded to Lara and Boris in a courtly Continental manner, gave a brief but gentle smile, and left the rehearsal room. Was it Lara's imagination, or were his eyes really twinkling?
As he was making his way to the exit door, Dr. Zhivago was deep in thought. Lara . . . there was something vaguely familiar about her. And the name Boris, too. Why was that nagging at him?
Meanwhile, the film crew were packing their gear. Lara was on the phone with the Outsider staff in New York. Let's listen in.
"What do you mean, how did I get there? Like I always get here. In what? They sent a plane for me. How long? Well, however much time it takes to get from New York to LA. Look, I didn't call to do math problems. I've got a real brain storm.
"Since I'm here, why don't I cover this show for our show? Don't you think it's a perfect tie-in? I mean, after The Bachelor, anything will be like a breath of fresh air, won't it? Yes, I'll buy some of that spray stuff, just in case.
"Now, hear me out. I have learned the judges are on board. They're going to be here in just about an hour. Have they told you who they are? This is gonna blow your mind! They didn't just get Russian royals for dancers--get this! They got Russian dancers for judges! No, I'm serious! Who? Oh! Anna Pavlova and Mikhail Baryshnikov. What? Don't ask. No, I cant do that math! [Lara shakes her head.] But I know they're here; I saw them in the drawing room. I swear. I did!
"Oh, thank you so much. You won't regret this, I promise. Shall I tell the hotel to bill the business office? Great!
"Oh! Three judges? Um, hold on. [Pause] Yes, there is a third. Ahhhhhh . . . some Ashley person. Okay, I'll get the details. Right. I'll get back to you before the interview. Yup. Talk to you. 'Bye!"
Vienna continued to whimper. The doctor, seeing nothing more serious then a mild strain, addressed Tristan.
"She'll be fine after a good night's rest."
Then he lowered his voice and moved a little closer to Tristan, out of Vienna's hearing.
"I'm going to prescribe a double dose of coddling and fawning. That should raise her spirits in no time. I have seen many cases like this, and the right bedside manner works every time."
He turned, nodded to Lara and Boris in a courtly Continental manner, gave a brief but gentle smile, and left the rehearsal room. Was it Lara's imagination, or were his eyes really twinkling?
As he was making his way to the exit door, Dr. Zhivago was deep in thought. Lara . . . there was something vaguely familiar about her. And the name Boris, too. Why was that nagging at him?
Meanwhile, the film crew were packing their gear. Lara was on the phone with the Outsider staff in New York. Let's listen in.
"What do you mean, how did I get there? Like I always get here. In what? They sent a plane for me. How long? Well, however much time it takes to get from New York to LA. Look, I didn't call to do math problems. I've got a real brain storm.
"Since I'm here, why don't I cover this show for our show? Don't you think it's a perfect tie-in? I mean, after The Bachelor, anything will be like a breath of fresh air, won't it? Yes, I'll buy some of that spray stuff, just in case.
"Now, hear me out. I have learned the judges are on board. They're going to be here in just about an hour. Have they told you who they are? This is gonna blow your mind! They didn't just get Russian royals for dancers--get this! They got Russian dancers for judges! No, I'm serious! Who? Oh! Anna Pavlova and Mikhail Baryshnikov. What? Don't ask. No, I cant do that math! [Lara shakes her head.] But I know they're here; I saw them in the drawing room. I swear. I did!
"Oh, thank you so much. You won't regret this, I promise. Shall I tell the hotel to bill the business office? Great!
"Oh! Three judges? Um, hold on. [Pause] Yes, there is a third. Ahhhhhh . . . some Ashley person. Okay, I'll get the details. Right. I'll get back to you before the interview. Yup. Talk to you. 'Bye!"
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:15 pm
16. Belle
On the way out of the house, Lara passed by a room whose door was slightly ajar. She heard voices so, being the crack journalist she was, she stopped to listen. The Fleissmiceter (MF) was conferring with a few of his minions (FM) who had put away their carpentry tools and taken on some of the logistical tasks. This is where she picked up the converation.
MF: Who's Ashley?
FM: Um, boss, she was the Bachelorette a few seasons ago. She's married to the other JP.
MF: We have marriages? How in the world does that that happen?
FM: Er, they fall in love? Quite by accident, sir. But Chris says it's good for that to happen once in a while--just to keep the viewers talking.
MF: Well, hum. Whooda thunk it? Anyway, is there some right reason for casting her as a judge? I mean, she'd be sitting between these timeless legends.
FM: Oh, it's perfect. Hear us out. First off, we need some comic relief. I think we can do better than those laughable--yes, I said it--group dates. Also, she really is a dancer. She won some Maine Junior Something beauty contest by dancing. She even wanted to be on Dancing With the Stars.
MF: You mean a wannabe?
FM: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
MF: OK. Yes. That might just work. We'll just say she was a DWTS champ. That's just a couple step up from the truth. It's not like we haven't done that before. Ha! Then the Internet boardsters can argue whether it's OK to say that.
On the way out of the house, Lara passed by a room whose door was slightly ajar. She heard voices so, being the crack journalist she was, she stopped to listen. The Fleissmiceter (MF) was conferring with a few of his minions (FM) who had put away their carpentry tools and taken on some of the logistical tasks. This is where she picked up the converation.
MF: Who's Ashley?
FM: Um, boss, she was the Bachelorette a few seasons ago. She's married to the other JP.
MF: We have marriages? How in the world does that that happen?
FM: Er, they fall in love? Quite by accident, sir. But Chris says it's good for that to happen once in a while--just to keep the viewers talking.
MF: Well, hum. Whooda thunk it? Anyway, is there some right reason for casting her as a judge? I mean, she'd be sitting between these timeless legends.
FM: Oh, it's perfect. Hear us out. First off, we need some comic relief. I think we can do better than those laughable--yes, I said it--group dates. Also, she really is a dancer. She won some Maine Junior Something beauty contest by dancing. She even wanted to be on Dancing With the Stars.
MF: You mean a wannabe?
FM: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
MF: OK. Yes. That might just work. We'll just say she was a DWTS champ. That's just a couple step up from the truth. It's not like we haven't done that before. Ha! Then the Internet boardsters can argue whether it's OK to say that.
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Fri Sep 04, 2015 3:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:26 pm
20. WW
Tony Dovolani was feeling good about the progress being made by Peter I and Tessa. They had just finished rehearsing the Argentine tango and Tony was pleased that Peter and Tessa seemed to be mastering the close embrace followed by the open-arms posture. They learned the cross system walk and the parallel system walk with only minor entanglement, which they later sorted out without difficulty. Tony was quite surprised that the rather formal Peter was able to feel the street dance origins of the tango, and that elegant Tessa was able to fit into it, as well.
"That was just great, Peter," said Tony, grinning from ear to ear. "Tessa, you're still being a bit tentative and reserved," he continued. "You need to be comfortable with the fact that he is your partner."
Peter and Tessa nodded. Tony reached for the CD player. "One more run-through," he said. "Then we'll be done for today." He started the music again.
No sooner had they finished their final rehearsal than the studio door opened to admit Sophia, Jake, and Karina.
"You!" Peter snarled. Jake was afraid the hostile greeting was aimed at him, having so recently heard it from Vienna. But Peter's eyes were clearly on Sophia. "You tried to keep me from my rightful place on the throne. Now, I suppose, you'll try to keep me from my rightful place as winner of this competition."
"Ha!" Sophia snarled. "Rightful place, indeed. You fairly shoved me off the throne as I sat upon it! The only reason I agreed to do this stupid show was to show you up. This is where I'll get my revenge, you crown hog."
"You were my half-sister, yet you led a traitorous rebellion against me when I was only ten years old," Peter charged. "I had to put my own group together to get my rightful place back. You sat on that throne for seven long years. And now you think you're entitled to get revenge and revenge comes in a silly dance contest? Ha!" Peter glared at her.
Jake started to chuckle. He looked at Tessa and asked her in low, conspiratorial tones, "Do you think some of these people might not be here for the right reasons?"
"I'm not sure the winner is in this room," she replied, sotto voce.
"Think either one of them is F1?" Jake continued quietly.
"They may have to take a moment and say their goodbyes," Tessa giggled. "And that's what my team needs to do right now, at least for rehearsal time." She linked arms with Peter and Tony as they left the studio.
"OK, flyboy," they heard Karina call out to Jake, "get Sophia in your arms and let's begin."
Tony Dovolani was feeling good about the progress being made by Peter I and Tessa. They had just finished rehearsing the Argentine tango and Tony was pleased that Peter and Tessa seemed to be mastering the close embrace followed by the open-arms posture. They learned the cross system walk and the parallel system walk with only minor entanglement, which they later sorted out without difficulty. Tony was quite surprised that the rather formal Peter was able to feel the street dance origins of the tango, and that elegant Tessa was able to fit into it, as well.
"That was just great, Peter," said Tony, grinning from ear to ear. "Tessa, you're still being a bit tentative and reserved," he continued. "You need to be comfortable with the fact that he is your partner."
Peter and Tessa nodded. Tony reached for the CD player. "One more run-through," he said. "Then we'll be done for today." He started the music again.
No sooner had they finished their final rehearsal than the studio door opened to admit Sophia, Jake, and Karina.
"You!" Peter snarled. Jake was afraid the hostile greeting was aimed at him, having so recently heard it from Vienna. But Peter's eyes were clearly on Sophia. "You tried to keep me from my rightful place on the throne. Now, I suppose, you'll try to keep me from my rightful place as winner of this competition."
"Ha!" Sophia snarled. "Rightful place, indeed. You fairly shoved me off the throne as I sat upon it! The only reason I agreed to do this stupid show was to show you up. This is where I'll get my revenge, you crown hog."
"You were my half-sister, yet you led a traitorous rebellion against me when I was only ten years old," Peter charged. "I had to put my own group together to get my rightful place back. You sat on that throne for seven long years. And now you think you're entitled to get revenge and revenge comes in a silly dance contest? Ha!" Peter glared at her.
Jake started to chuckle. He looked at Tessa and asked her in low, conspiratorial tones, "Do you think some of these people might not be here for the right reasons?"
"I'm not sure the winner is in this room," she replied, sotto voce.
"Think either one of them is F1?" Jake continued quietly.
"They may have to take a moment and say their goodbyes," Tessa giggled. "And that's what my team needs to do right now, at least for rehearsal time." She linked arms with Peter and Tony as they left the studio.
"OK, flyboy," they heard Karina call out to Jake, "get Sophia in your arms and let's begin."
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:41 pm
22. Belle
Far away from the glamour of Hollywood and the drama and intrigue of reality television, other passengers on the Fleiss time machine were holed up in an undisclosed location--so secret that it has not even been disclosed to us. Its occupants were enemies of the state of affairs among some these reality stars--particularly those pesky and pretentious royals. Why, if this Fleissmeisster had been born in the 19th century or earlier, he might have been one of them. This was not to be borne.
Their mission was to sabotage this ridiculous enterprise---what were they calling it? Dancing with the Tsars? That does have a certain ring to it, but they'd have insisted on Dancing with the Despots. Or Fraternizing with the Despots in a Physical Way.
Our conspirators? Why, Vladimir Lenin (his friends call him Lex) and Leon Trotsky (his friends call him Fox Trot). They were accompanied by their trusty sidekicks--spies so crafty, devious, underhanded and undiscoverable as to be worthy of the KGB itself--the Shevik twins, Bol and Men.
The twins were now in a debriefing session with their handlers. Let's pick up on the conversation. And please don't ask us how we are able to do this--we're sworn to secrecy by our own handlers.
23. Belle
Lex: As I am known for saying, "The best way to destroy the reality kingdom is to debauch the courtiers."
Fox: Well, I don't think we have to work very hard to accomplish that.
Lex: As I am known for saying, "the way to crush the bourgeoisie . . . "
Fox: . . . er, I believe they're referred to locally as Fleissmice and bachpeople . . .
Lex: All right. Please don't interrupt again. " . . . is to grind them between the millstone of infamy and dollars."
Fox: So true. So, boys, ahem . . .with all my Western culture, I'm thinking we ought to be calling you Tweedledum and Tweedledee . . . no? OK, skip it. I'll just stick to art appreciation. Have you got the dancing competition fixed like we ordered?
Bol: Funny thing, sir. We barely had to lift a finger. Really. It was already done. No question about it. The Hough sibs have it in the bag. Ha ha! Leave it to siblings to get things done!
Men: You got it! And that Reid guy sealed the deal. Why, he could be dancing with an elk in the tundra and still win. The viewer voters adore the guy!
Lex: What voters? Are you telling me there is a vote? No way! We must be in control! Have the judges decide.
Fox: Is that possible? Won't viewers be expecting to vote?
Lex: I didn't do all the work to get a law degree not to be able to make rulings. As I am known for saying, "To rely upon conviction, devotion, and other excellent spiritual qualities--that is not to be taken seriously in reality shows." What's next?
Fox: It's time to start plotting our strategy. It should really be fun. You know how Americans love cheap drama. I think if we do it right, we can out-Fleiss the Fleissmeister and come up with the MOST mayhem EVER. Even Chris Harrison's exaggerations won't be able to top this!
Lex: Boys, will you make us some coffee, please?
Far away from the glamour of Hollywood and the drama and intrigue of reality television, other passengers on the Fleiss time machine were holed up in an undisclosed location--so secret that it has not even been disclosed to us. Its occupants were enemies of the state of affairs among some these reality stars--particularly those pesky and pretentious royals. Why, if this Fleissmeisster had been born in the 19th century or earlier, he might have been one of them. This was not to be borne.
Their mission was to sabotage this ridiculous enterprise---what were they calling it? Dancing with the Tsars? That does have a certain ring to it, but they'd have insisted on Dancing with the Despots. Or Fraternizing with the Despots in a Physical Way.
Our conspirators? Why, Vladimir Lenin (his friends call him Lex) and Leon Trotsky (his friends call him Fox Trot). They were accompanied by their trusty sidekicks--spies so crafty, devious, underhanded and undiscoverable as to be worthy of the KGB itself--the Shevik twins, Bol and Men.
The twins were now in a debriefing session with their handlers. Let's pick up on the conversation. And please don't ask us how we are able to do this--we're sworn to secrecy by our own handlers.
23. Belle
Lex: As I am known for saying, "The best way to destroy the reality kingdom is to debauch the courtiers."
Fox: Well, I don't think we have to work very hard to accomplish that.
Lex: As I am known for saying, "the way to crush the bourgeoisie . . . "
Fox: . . . er, I believe they're referred to locally as Fleissmice and bachpeople . . .
Lex: All right. Please don't interrupt again. " . . . is to grind them between the millstone of infamy and dollars."
Fox: So true. So, boys, ahem . . .with all my Western culture, I'm thinking we ought to be calling you Tweedledum and Tweedledee . . . no? OK, skip it. I'll just stick to art appreciation. Have you got the dancing competition fixed like we ordered?
Bol: Funny thing, sir. We barely had to lift a finger. Really. It was already done. No question about it. The Hough sibs have it in the bag. Ha ha! Leave it to siblings to get things done!
Men: You got it! And that Reid guy sealed the deal. Why, he could be dancing with an elk in the tundra and still win. The viewer voters adore the guy!
Lex: What voters? Are you telling me there is a vote? No way! We must be in control! Have the judges decide.
Fox: Is that possible? Won't viewers be expecting to vote?
Lex: I didn't do all the work to get a law degree not to be able to make rulings. As I am known for saying, "To rely upon conviction, devotion, and other excellent spiritual qualities--that is not to be taken seriously in reality shows." What's next?
Fox: It's time to start plotting our strategy. It should really be fun. You know how Americans love cheap drama. I think if we do it right, we can out-Fleiss the Fleissmeister and come up with the MOST mayhem EVER. Even Chris Harrison's exaggerations won't be able to top this!
Lex: Boys, will you make us some coffee, please?
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:45 pm
24. WW
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today has been chatting with members of the cast about how rehearsals are going, and how the tsars and tsarinas are adapting to life in the 21st century. Amazingly, they're taking many things in stride, then bumping up against what seem to us to be small things.
For example, the presence of cameras does not seem to be causing anyone any upset. Catherine the Great said it was just like having a portrait painted except she didn't have to sit still for it. Ivan IV, however, wondered why there is a crew member called the Key Grip. "But he's not gripping any keys," he said, shaking his head. Similarly, Peter II wondered about the crew member called the Best Boy. "He's a middle-aged man," Peter protested. Anna, though, has been charmed by the make-up artist, although she wondered whom the artist had offended causing her to need to make up. "I see no need to consider purging her," said the tsarina.
"They're bringing joy and new perspectives to us every day," said Chris Harrison. "This will be the most cultured DWTT ever!"
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today has been chatting with members of the cast about how rehearsals are going, and how the tsars and tsarinas are adapting to life in the 21st century. Amazingly, they're taking many things in stride, then bumping up against what seem to us to be small things.
For example, the presence of cameras does not seem to be causing anyone any upset. Catherine the Great said it was just like having a portrait painted except she didn't have to sit still for it. Ivan IV, however, wondered why there is a crew member called the Key Grip. "But he's not gripping any keys," he said, shaking his head. Similarly, Peter II wondered about the crew member called the Best Boy. "He's a middle-aged man," Peter protested. Anna, though, has been charmed by the make-up artist, although she wondered whom the artist had offended causing her to need to make up. "I see no need to consider purging her," said the tsarina.
"They're bringing joy and new perspectives to us every day," said Chris Harrison. "This will be the most cultured DWTT ever!"
_________________
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 8:56 pm
25. Belle
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Cynical Cynthia
Ummmmm . . . that would be because this is the FIRST season EVER?
26. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
DanceHallFloozy
Well, duh!
27. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Waltzing Matilda
What are we talking about tonight?
28. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
DanceHallFloozy
We're talking about stupid stuff Chris Harrison says.
29. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
SoftShoe
Why not talk about the Russians? That Peter the Great dude is tall and handsome!
30. Belle
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Theresa Terrific
I hope all the haters don't rake poor Ivan the Terrible over the coals or pick apart his every word. I bet he's just a cute teddy bear off camera, and he's misunderstood because of the language and culture barrier. We shoud put ourselves in his shoes before we bash him.
31. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Lindy Hop
Yes but have you noticed how those Russians keep invading everybody else's space on the dance floor?
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:08 pm
32. Belle
Ames and Tsarina Elizabeth had just finished an excellent training session with Kym. The coach was very pleased with their progress and enthusiasm for the jive. They had chosen the dance together because of its energy and joyful presentation. It seemed to fit their personalities, their eclectic tastes and their eagerness to try new things. (Ames was probably the only bachperson who knew what eclectic was).
Ames was a natural, and Kym was wondering how Elizabeth would take to a preppie costume. With her looks, she would most likely look great in anything!
Both of the dancers were exausted from the workout. They decided to sit down for a strawberry peach smoothie before returning to their respective quarters to clean up and rejoin the rest of the cast. Enjoying each other's company, they had a lively and fascinating conversation, regaling one another with their interests in all things cultural.
Then Elizabeth had a question. "I heard there was an American dating game where a couple would go to the Hollywood sign to see if they were falling in love. That's not the way I remembered it three centuries ago."
Ames gave Elizabeth his sincere, winning smile. He was wondering what she would think if he told her about internet dating and courting by texting. He shook his head slightly and replied, "Yes, there are millions of people who watch television to see if one man or woman can sort through twenty-five contestants to find a potential husband or wife. All the partners have been on it."
"That's so modern! Ha ha! Royals did pretty much the same thing in my time but it was just called, er, what royals do. And they didn't have to choose just one; they could keep whomever they wanted for as long as they wanted. Does the television process work?" Elizabeth wondered.
"If you mean, does the show work, I'd say it surely does for the producers. And a lot of people have fun on elaborate dates and travel to exotic places, but only a very small number stay together." Ames was vastly amused at her curiosity.
"Well, I'd like to see this symbol of modern romance," Elizabeth said emphatically. It seemed most royals of the historical Russian persuasion were emphatic.
The conversation proceeded. By the time they parted company until the next day, they had developed a friendly fondness for each other. Ames was wondering what else Elizabeth might enjoy.
Ames and Tsarina Elizabeth had just finished an excellent training session with Kym. The coach was very pleased with their progress and enthusiasm for the jive. They had chosen the dance together because of its energy and joyful presentation. It seemed to fit their personalities, their eclectic tastes and their eagerness to try new things. (Ames was probably the only bachperson who knew what eclectic was).
Ames was a natural, and Kym was wondering how Elizabeth would take to a preppie costume. With her looks, she would most likely look great in anything!
Both of the dancers were exausted from the workout. They decided to sit down for a strawberry peach smoothie before returning to their respective quarters to clean up and rejoin the rest of the cast. Enjoying each other's company, they had a lively and fascinating conversation, regaling one another with their interests in all things cultural.
Then Elizabeth had a question. "I heard there was an American dating game where a couple would go to the Hollywood sign to see if they were falling in love. That's not the way I remembered it three centuries ago."
Ames gave Elizabeth his sincere, winning smile. He was wondering what she would think if he told her about internet dating and courting by texting. He shook his head slightly and replied, "Yes, there are millions of people who watch television to see if one man or woman can sort through twenty-five contestants to find a potential husband or wife. All the partners have been on it."
"That's so modern! Ha ha! Royals did pretty much the same thing in my time but it was just called, er, what royals do. And they didn't have to choose just one; they could keep whomever they wanted for as long as they wanted. Does the television process work?" Elizabeth wondered.
"If you mean, does the show work, I'd say it surely does for the producers. And a lot of people have fun on elaborate dates and travel to exotic places, but only a very small number stay together." Ames was vastly amused at her curiosity.
"Well, I'd like to see this symbol of modern romance," Elizabeth said emphatically. It seemed most royals of the historical Russian persuasion were emphatic.
The conversation proceeded. By the time they parted company until the next day, they had developed a friendly fondness for each other. Ames was wondering what else Elizabeth might enjoy.
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:20 pm
33. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
BoleroBob
Invading? They used to own all the dance floors. They're just taking back what is historically theirs.
34. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Sam Ba
Only the Gaffer has lived up to his job description. That guy is a total screw-up!
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
BoleroBob
Invading? They used to own all the dance floors. They're just taking back what is historically theirs.
34. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Sam Ba
Only the Gaffer has lived up to his job description. That guy is a total screw-up!
Last edited by Buckeye Belle on Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Belle
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:29 pm
35. WW
The break room next to the studio was becoming a popular place. Those who were waiting to get practice time in the studio came in to have a cup of tea and settle their nerves. Those who had just finished a strenuous rehearsal came in to flop on a chair and drink vodka. Friendships were forming and the bachpeople and coaches were delighted to find out what regular people these royals could be. Only occasionally were tensions evident.
Maria sat with Bentley and Cheryl as they caught their breath following a long lesson in Paso Doble. The spirit of the dance had put all of them in a bit of a feisty mood, and they spoke a bit too loudly using gestures that were a bit too wild. Bentley had taken to calling Maria "My beautiful cape" as she swished her red, full-skirted dress while he held her waist. "He's certainly fluent in bull," Cheryl remarked to the rest of the room. The Russians didn't know what to make of that line, although they could see it was intended as humor.
Catherine, Reid, Derek, and Julianne brought their tea cups to the same table. Derek began a long speech of praise over Catherine's dance abilities. "Speaking of bull," began Maks, sitting at another table. Derek continued, ignoring him. "And she's so willing to try new things," he enthused. "She's such a good egg." At that, Catherine's head rose sharply and she stared at Maria.
"An egg! That's what's been nagging at the back of my mind! You have my egg!" Catherine pointed her finger at Maria as she flung the accusation.
"What in the name of all that is royal are you talking about?" responded Maria, dumbfounded.
"My Fabergé Egg! You call it Grisaille, but it's really called the Catherine the Great Egg. It's mine! Give it back!"
"It was never yours," countered Maria. "It has your likeness in it, but the egg wasn't even made until 1914. You'd been dead more than a hundred years by then."
"Nice try, Toots," said Catherine, her voice rising. "We're all here now and you have my egg. Give it to me."
"In fact, Maria doesn't have it," said Ivan, who had just arrived. "She left it unattended and I... er... annexed it."
Both women whirled around to look at him.
"Well, give it back," demanded Maria.
"No, give it to me," said Catherine in her sweetest voice.
"I'm afraid I can't do either," said Ivan with an evil grin. "I had it for breakfast."
The break room next to the studio was becoming a popular place. Those who were waiting to get practice time in the studio came in to have a cup of tea and settle their nerves. Those who had just finished a strenuous rehearsal came in to flop on a chair and drink vodka. Friendships were forming and the bachpeople and coaches were delighted to find out what regular people these royals could be. Only occasionally were tensions evident.
Maria sat with Bentley and Cheryl as they caught their breath following a long lesson in Paso Doble. The spirit of the dance had put all of them in a bit of a feisty mood, and they spoke a bit too loudly using gestures that were a bit too wild. Bentley had taken to calling Maria "My beautiful cape" as she swished her red, full-skirted dress while he held her waist. "He's certainly fluent in bull," Cheryl remarked to the rest of the room. The Russians didn't know what to make of that line, although they could see it was intended as humor.
Catherine, Reid, Derek, and Julianne brought their tea cups to the same table. Derek began a long speech of praise over Catherine's dance abilities. "Speaking of bull," began Maks, sitting at another table. Derek continued, ignoring him. "And she's so willing to try new things," he enthused. "She's such a good egg." At that, Catherine's head rose sharply and she stared at Maria.
"An egg! That's what's been nagging at the back of my mind! You have my egg!" Catherine pointed her finger at Maria as she flung the accusation.
"What in the name of all that is royal are you talking about?" responded Maria, dumbfounded.
"My Fabergé Egg! You call it Grisaille, but it's really called the Catherine the Great Egg. It's mine! Give it back!"
"It was never yours," countered Maria. "It has your likeness in it, but the egg wasn't even made until 1914. You'd been dead more than a hundred years by then."
"Nice try, Toots," said Catherine, her voice rising. "We're all here now and you have my egg. Give it to me."
"In fact, Maria doesn't have it," said Ivan, who had just arrived. "She left it unattended and I... er... annexed it."
Both women whirled around to look at him.
"Well, give it back," demanded Maria.
"No, give it to me," said Catherine in her sweetest voice.
"I'm afraid I can't do either," said Ivan with an evil grin. "I had it for breakfast."
_________________
Belle
Buckeye Belle- Power User
- Posts : 438
Likes : 169
Join date : 2013-03-03
Location : Holy Toledo!
Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:39 pm
36. WW
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today has learned exclusively about a dust-up between some of the DWTT royals that took place in their break room. Evidently Maria and Catherine got into it over who was the rightful owner of a Fabergé egg that Maria had possessed, Catherine had claimed, and Ivan had taken. Witnesses expressed shock over Ivan's claim he had eaten it. "I mean, it can't have been any good. It's like a century past its sell-by date," opined Bentley.
We'd have to agree.
38. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Sal Sa
Just give me a minuet to think about this.
Okay, as far as discos, there’s a quick step to resolving this, or any other, conflict: you have to make sure your opinion jives with that of others. This is also a good way to beguine to understand yourself.
It's only when we lead paso doble lives that trouble starts. Oh, what a tango web we weave when first we practise to deceive!
39. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Terpsichore
Trying to waltz your way around it?
40. Grammarianna
Sounds like a stunt to promote a new show: Eggstreme Takeover.
Trending Today©
THE MAGAZINE FOR SERIOUS FANS
Trending Today has learned exclusively about a dust-up between some of the DWTT royals that took place in their break room. Evidently Maria and Catherine got into it over who was the rightful owner of a Fabergé egg that Maria had possessed, Catherine had claimed, and Ivan had taken. Witnesses expressed shock over Ivan's claim he had eaten it. "I mean, it can't have been any good. It's like a century past its sell-by date," opined Bentley.
We'd have to agree.
38. Grammarianna
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Sal Sa
Just give me a minuet to think about this.
Okay, as far as discos, there’s a quick step to resolving this, or any other, conflict: you have to make sure your opinion jives with that of others. This is also a good way to beguine to understand yourself.
It's only when we lead paso doble lives that trouble starts. Oh, what a tango web we weave when first we practise to deceive!
39. WW
dancing with the tsars MESSAGE BOARD
Terpsichore
Trying to waltz your way around it?
40. Grammarianna
Sounds like a stunt to promote a new show: Eggstreme Takeover.
_________________
Belle
Buckeye Belle- Power User
- Posts : 438
Likes : 169
Join date : 2013-03-03
Location : Holy Toledo!
Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:08 am
41. Belle
As the dance coaching and music selection were proceeding apace and opening night was drawing ever closer, it was time for the hosts and judges to meet and go over things like script, jokes, host banter, scoring, segueways and the like. It was important for everyone to be on the same page.
To accomplish this, judges Mikhail Baryshnikov, Ashley Hebert-Rosenbaum and Anna Pavlova met with show hosts Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft in the sun rooom at the bach mansion.
The setting was perfect. It was a bright, sunny day. The room had large floor-to-ceiling windows and a sliding glass door that let in all the light that was there to be had. It was furnished with sturdy casual rattan settees and chairs and had the atmosphere of a lovely spring day. To the far side, there was a fully equipped wet bar (remember, this is the bach mansion), complete with glassware and a uniformed server-bartender named Sergei.
The view outside was a stunning expanse of lawn bordered with the most lush red roses available in the area. Tucked along wall the was a large-capacity hot tub (remember, this is the bach mansion).
This was the first meeting of the group. With their common interest in the performing arts, the gathering was eagerly anticipated by all and expected to be both convivial and productive.
No effort was spared to make the guests feel at home and appreciated. Chris was actually feeling relaxed as a mere participant instead of also having a role on the executive team. And just to make sure everything was comfortable and harmonious, Juan Pablo had been brought in as a consultant because of his expertise in multi-lingual interaction and resolution of cultural differences.
Introductions were made. Greetings were exchanged. Hands were shaken. Smiles beamed. As everyone was seated, Sergei served Bloody Marys and a delightful brunch of blini accompanied by sour cream, several varieties of fruit preserves and honey, Russian sausage (made with pork and flavored with onion, dill and caraway), and a mixed green salad.
The group engaged in casual conversation as they savored their meal. Just as the guests were laying down their forks and Sergei was taking up plates in preparation for serving coffee, an odd looking man dressed in black and with a penetrating stare entered the room.
As the dance coaching and music selection were proceeding apace and opening night was drawing ever closer, it was time for the hosts and judges to meet and go over things like script, jokes, host banter, scoring, segueways and the like. It was important for everyone to be on the same page.
To accomplish this, judges Mikhail Baryshnikov, Ashley Hebert-Rosenbaum and Anna Pavlova met with show hosts Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft in the sun rooom at the bach mansion.
The setting was perfect. It was a bright, sunny day. The room had large floor-to-ceiling windows and a sliding glass door that let in all the light that was there to be had. It was furnished with sturdy casual rattan settees and chairs and had the atmosphere of a lovely spring day. To the far side, there was a fully equipped wet bar (remember, this is the bach mansion), complete with glassware and a uniformed server-bartender named Sergei.
The view outside was a stunning expanse of lawn bordered with the most lush red roses available in the area. Tucked along wall the was a large-capacity hot tub (remember, this is the bach mansion).
This was the first meeting of the group. With their common interest in the performing arts, the gathering was eagerly anticipated by all and expected to be both convivial and productive.
No effort was spared to make the guests feel at home and appreciated. Chris was actually feeling relaxed as a mere participant instead of also having a role on the executive team. And just to make sure everything was comfortable and harmonious, Juan Pablo had been brought in as a consultant because of his expertise in multi-lingual interaction and resolution of cultural differences.
Introductions were made. Greetings were exchanged. Hands were shaken. Smiles beamed. As everyone was seated, Sergei served Bloody Marys and a delightful brunch of blini accompanied by sour cream, several varieties of fruit preserves and honey, Russian sausage (made with pork and flavored with onion, dill and caraway), and a mixed green salad.
The group engaged in casual conversation as they savored their meal. Just as the guests were laying down their forks and Sergei was taking up plates in preparation for serving coffee, an odd looking man dressed in black and with a penetrating stare entered the room.
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Belle
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Re: Dancing with the Tsars
by Buckeye Belle Fri Sep 04, 2015 12:17 am
42. Belle
Everyone became silent, shifted position and looked at the man. Having the group's full attention, the man spoke.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." Perhaps the man thought Sergei was part of the show staff.
"My name is Rasputin and I've been asked to come on board as your Production Coordinator." Chris stiffened a bit.
"I'm also going to act as your spiritual adviser." Chris stiffened a little more.
"I have here a memo I've prepared under the direction of my superiors. It has the guidelines and rules we will implement as the show proceeds. Why don't you all have a sip of coffee or several gulps of your Bloody Marys--oh, Sergei, may we please have refills--and then take a minute to read it. Then I'll be happy to answer questions or hear any comments you may have."
Rasputin gave each guest a copy of the production memo. There were a few minutes of silence, broken only by the shifting of papers and the sound of slurping as the memos were perused. After that quiet interval, there was a flurry of vocal responses, interrupted by interruptions worthy of The View.
Here is what we recorded. (Remember, we're not allowed to divulge how we get ahold of this stuff.)
43. Belle
Melissa: It says here no viewer voting. What are we going to do with all the time devoted giving out phone numbers to call and texting instructions?
Rasputin: Why, have more interviews with the dancers, of course. Then you can find out from all of them how hard the training is and what is going through their minds when they are on the dance floor, or in the studio, or at the mansion with the other dancers, or . . . or . . . you'll think of something, won't you? Isn't that what they are paying you to do?
Chris: There isn't a single joke here. I was supposed to get a bunch of one-liners to zing people with. The only one-liner I know is, "Ladies, Bachelor, this is the final rose tonight. Bachelor, whenever you're ready." Oh, is that two lines, or do I put a semicolon there?
Rasputin: We're still working on that. So far, we haven't seen much that's funny. We need to loosen up the royalty a bit.
Mikhail: Who is Bruno Tonioli and why am I supposed to study him?
Rasputin: Oh, Mikey! I'm glad you asked. Bruno is known for his flourishing gestures and his colorful and rather racy language. We may need to loosen you up a bit.
Anna: Why are we supposed to pick only the best and worst dancers each night? We can't jeté all around all their egos with our pointed comments?
Rasputin: Oh, pointed comments are very welcome. They just won't count for anything. We may need to loosen you up a bit.
Ashley: I can tell you right now I'm going to vote Bentley "worst" no matter what he does.
Rasputin: Oh. You may vote however you like. It just won't count for anything, I think we need to loosen you up a bit.
Mikhail: Please don't call me "Mikey"! I'm serious. How in the world are we supposed to judge ballroom dancing?
Rasputin: Oh, you may judge it any way you like. It just won't count for anything. Yes, we definitely need to loosen you up a bit--maybe quite a bit.
Anna: He's right. I bet they don't even know the five positions.
Juan Pablo: Trust me; I bet they do.
Everyone became silent, shifted position and looked at the man. Having the group's full attention, the man spoke.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." Perhaps the man thought Sergei was part of the show staff.
"My name is Rasputin and I've been asked to come on board as your Production Coordinator." Chris stiffened a bit.
"I'm also going to act as your spiritual adviser." Chris stiffened a little more.
"I have here a memo I've prepared under the direction of my superiors. It has the guidelines and rules we will implement as the show proceeds. Why don't you all have a sip of coffee or several gulps of your Bloody Marys--oh, Sergei, may we please have refills--and then take a minute to read it. Then I'll be happy to answer questions or hear any comments you may have."
Rasputin gave each guest a copy of the production memo. There were a few minutes of silence, broken only by the shifting of papers and the sound of slurping as the memos were perused. After that quiet interval, there was a flurry of vocal responses, interrupted by interruptions worthy of The View.
Here is what we recorded. (Remember, we're not allowed to divulge how we get ahold of this stuff.)
43. Belle
Melissa: It says here no viewer voting. What are we going to do with all the time devoted giving out phone numbers to call and texting instructions?
Rasputin: Why, have more interviews with the dancers, of course. Then you can find out from all of them how hard the training is and what is going through their minds when they are on the dance floor, or in the studio, or at the mansion with the other dancers, or . . . or . . . you'll think of something, won't you? Isn't that what they are paying you to do?
Chris: There isn't a single joke here. I was supposed to get a bunch of one-liners to zing people with. The only one-liner I know is, "Ladies, Bachelor, this is the final rose tonight. Bachelor, whenever you're ready." Oh, is that two lines, or do I put a semicolon there?
Rasputin: We're still working on that. So far, we haven't seen much that's funny. We need to loosen up the royalty a bit.
Mikhail: Who is Bruno Tonioli and why am I supposed to study him?
Rasputin: Oh, Mikey! I'm glad you asked. Bruno is known for his flourishing gestures and his colorful and rather racy language. We may need to loosen you up a bit.
Anna: Why are we supposed to pick only the best and worst dancers each night? We can't jeté all around all their egos with our pointed comments?
Rasputin: Oh, pointed comments are very welcome. They just won't count for anything. We may need to loosen you up a bit.
Ashley: I can tell you right now I'm going to vote Bentley "worst" no matter what he does.
Rasputin: Oh. You may vote however you like. It just won't count for anything, I think we need to loosen you up a bit.
Mikhail: Please don't call me "Mikey"! I'm serious. How in the world are we supposed to judge ballroom dancing?
Rasputin: Oh, you may judge it any way you like. It just won't count for anything. Yes, we definitely need to loosen you up a bit--maybe quite a bit.
Anna: He's right. I bet they don't even know the five positions.
Juan Pablo: Trust me; I bet they do.
_________________
Belle
Buckeye Belle- Power User
- Posts : 438
Likes : 169
Join date : 2013-03-03
Location : Holy Toledo!
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