Re: DWTS General Chit Chat

by **rkc1960** Fri Sep 18, 2015 8:58 pm

Oakma wrote:This subject is very interesting to me.Since I have a disability myself it always interest me to listen to people views on the subject.Do you think it is a fear of the unknown that make people uneasy around someone who has a mental condition ?

I think to most it is a fear of the unknown. To others it is just an intolerance to people that have a disability.

My 21 year old son is autistic and over the years my feelings have changed over people that react to those with disabilities. When I was newer to this when my son was young, it used to hurt my feelings because people would treat my son differently. They would stare, look annoyed, or come up to me and give advise like they thought my son was being unruly and needed more discipline. I would go home and cry at night because I felt so bad for my son that he would have to deal with these things.

Now that he is older and more is known about autism, I notice that more people come up to me and will tell me that they either know someone who is autistic or are related to someone that is. I have people that approach me that work with those with disabilities as well. It seems to be more understood....however, even though more in known about it and plenty of information is out there you still have people that stare and keep their distance like he is contagious or something.

But the absolute worst are those that not only act like but have come right out and said that those with disabilities are draining the public's finances and that they should be "put down"!!! I kid you not!!! I have heard it and that is probably about the closest I have come to violence! I seriously got into it with one guy that said because kids like my son that need special schooling that he was pissed that he thought it took away from his kid having even MORE extra curricular activities after school! I wanted to seriously knock him out! These people need to get down on their knees and thank God that they have a normal child and not become disgruntled over trivial things. Count your blessing.

by **Lesallee** Fri Sep 18, 2015 10:28 pm

Love and blessings to you and your son, rkc.

by **rkc1960** Fri Sep 18, 2015 11:21 pm

Lesallee wrote:Love and blessings to you and your son, rkc.

Thank you, Lesallee....

by **kincaid53** Sat Sep 19, 2015 12:03 am

rkc1960 wrote:
Lesallee wrote:Love and blessings to you and your son, rkc.
Thank you, Lesallee....

I don't know if you watched the Miss America pagent, but in the talent part there was a contestant that is a nurse and she did a monologue of a conversation with an Alzheimer patient..........the gist of it was the patient Joe just thought of himself as someone with alzheimers.....the nurse kept telling him I wish I could help you more, but I'm just a nurse. In the end she says you're not just someone with alzheimers you are Joe....he tells her you are not just a nurse you are my nurse.
        Your son, rkc, is not just someone with autism......he is your son and deserving of a wonderful life of equal opportunies as everyone else is!   I think if I met your son tomorrow he could teach me something valuable that would enrich my life!
    I know there is a saying that ignorance is bliss, but in some cases, such as the people you speak about...ignorance can be hurtful.
I want to join lesallee in sending love and blessings to your family ............ Flower

by **WidderWoman4** Sat Sep 19, 2015 12:41 am

Kincaid, what a beautiful post. Truly, I'm in awe of it. Thank you.

by **WidderWoman4** Sat Sep 19, 2015 12:45 am

Most of us have posted together (or, at least, known of each other) for quite a while. Yet I'll bet most of us don't know enough about the struggles and realities others have faced and are facing. We may disagree at times, but DANG! this is an admirable group!

I can mutter and grumble and whine about my struggles, but they're really nothing compared to what some of the rest of you are enduring. And you all do it with such a generous heart!

Thank you for giving me some perspective.

by **Babs2147** Sat Sep 19, 2015 2:12 am

kincaid53 wrote:
rkc1960 wrote:
Lesallee wrote:Love and blessings to you and your son, rkc.
Thank you, Lesallee....

I don't know if you watched the Miss America pagent, but in the talent part there was a contestant that is a nurse and she did a monologue of a conversation with an Alzheimer patient..........the gist of it was the patient Joe just thought of himself as someone with alzheimers.....the nurse kept telling him I wish I could help you more, but I'm just a nurse. In the end she says you're not just someone with alzheimers you are Joe....he tells her you are not just a nurse you are my nurse.
        Your son, rkc, is not just someone with autism......he is your son and deserving of a wonderful life of equal opportunies as everyone else is!   I think if I met your son tomorrow he could teach me something valuable that would enrich my life!
    I know there is a saying that ignorance is bliss, but in some cases, such as the people you speak about...ignorance can be hurtful.
I want to join lesallee in sending love and blessings to your family ............

Deeply moving analogy, Mayor. Thank you. My mom had a six-year battle with Alzheimer's and passed away four years ago. That monologue by the nurse, Miss Colorado, during the Miss America Pageant touched my heart. Sadly, it was shamelessly mocked by several of the ladies on The View. Fortunately, the public outcry forced two of the sponsors to bow out.

by **kincaid53** Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:04 am

Oh gosh sis I was a blubbering mess during her monologue!!.....3more sponsors have cut ties with them that's 5 all together.
I know that was tough to go through with your mom..........I'm so sorry!!!

by **kincaid53** Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:14 am

Thank you WidderWoman
I try not to whine around my sister because I'm just setting her up to say ''can I get you some cheese to go with that whine?" LoL!

by Guest Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:56 am

I am not going to get into this discussion because if I do I will get up on my soapbox about how people with disabilities and/or emotional issues are viewed and treated. Makes me sick to my stomach.

Just let me send good thoughts and blessings to any and all of us who are dealing with serious issues with ourselves, family members, or friends. I have learned many lessons from a disabled friend who never complained for one second. Although she is now gone, she was an inspiration to everyone who knew her.

by Oakma Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:29 am

rkc .... thank you for sharing your story.

All my best to you and your family ... Flower

by **Psychee22** Sat Sep 19, 2015 5:31 pm

Oakma wrote:This subject is very interesting to me.Since I have a disability myself it always interest me to listen to people views on the subject.Do you think it is a fear of the unknown that make people uneasy around someone who has a mental condition ?

Perhaps more the "unpredictability" aspect, Oakma, I think. But only the kind that could result in harm or embarrassment, I would say. There are loads of "mental conditions" that are just accepted by everyone -- like learning disabilities, and Parkinson's, and OCD -- which are all quite predictable and thus, much easier for others to understand and cope with.

But with someone like Gary Busey, you can never know when he might, for example, pick up a baseball bat and start destroying stuff purely because at that moment he thought it would be a cool thing to do. His mental problem thus poses a perceived risk to others.

by Oakma Sat Sep 19, 2015 6:30 pm

I read that DWTS are using him for ratings ... unpredictability may be just what they are looking for.He may be playing it up a bit to give them what they want.You couldn't blame him for doing a job for them.

Of course this could be totally bogus ... I have also read that Kim Johnson is setting out the season because she is pregnant.Also in the rumor mill is that TPTB don't like that she hooked up with a contestant and canned her.

by **Lesallee** Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:00 pm

by **WidderWoman4** Sat Sep 19, 2015 7:26 pm

Oakma wrote:I read that DWTS are using him for ratings ... unpredictability may be just what they are looking for.He may be playing it up a bit to give them what they want.You couldn't blame him for doing a job for them.

Of course this could be totally bogus ... I have also read that Kim Johnson is setting out the season because she is pregnant.Also in the rumor mill is that TPTB don't like that she hooked up with a contestant and canned her.

A lot depends on where you read it. I read that two-headed aliens abducted Elvis and they've hidden him behind the counter in a Baskin-Robbins. That was after they'd messed with his memory, of course.

by Oakma Sat Sep 19, 2015 10:09 pm

I didn't say I believed this stuff I just ran across the stories.That is what is interesting about gossip ... people can say whatever they like ... and some people believe it.

I was really researching to see if I could find anything about Gary flipping out and being violent.I couldn't find anything.Seems he does rub people the wrong way but I guess one doesn't have to be brain damaged to do that .... I remember Bill Engvall really bothered some people but I thought he was great on the show.

by **WidderWoman4** Sat Sep 19, 2015 11:00 pm

Yes, you made it clear you weren't saying you believed it. You said, "Of course this could be totally bogus..." which makes it pretty clear you're keeping your skepticism intact. Sorry if I made it seem otherwise.

by Guest Sun Sep 20, 2015 3:18 am

Psychee22 wrote:

Perhaps more the "unpredictability" aspect, Oakma, I think. But only the kind that could result in harm or embarrassment, I would say. There are loads of "mental conditions" that are just accepted by everyone -- like learning disabilities, and Parkinson's, and OCD -- which are all quite predictable and thus, much easier for others to understand and cope with. ....post truncated

Sorry to be so late to the discussion, but...."Mental conditions" are not accepted by everyone. One of my sons had ADHD, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain and sometimes results in less than stellar behavior. He had to take medication at school, and the other kids found out and ridiculed him and made him one miserable child. Yes, I know they were kids and kids can be cruel, but you would be amazed at the number of adults who commented out loud in a derogatory way or blamed it all on me.

As for OCD, that is also a cruel condition, and in its extremes, is not understood by the general public and least of all by the patient. It is not predictable and unresolved OCD causes anxiety and horrible depression. People do not understand depression and some say "oh just snap out of it." Not so easy, my friends.

Now I will get off my soapbox. Thanks for "listening" to another point of view.

by **singlyme** Sun Sep 20, 2015 8:11 am

I apologize if my negative feelings toward Gary implied I had little patience for people with disabilities. My youngest was ADD and her childhood was difficult. Her young-adult son has OCD yet refuses to acknowledge its symptoms or seek help. He's a constant worry. While not a disability, my height put me in a position for ridicule as a teen. It was quite painful.

I'm beginning to wonder if there needs to be some research into whether or not cruelty is a mental condition. We see some who are destructive from the time they are small children, despite parental guidance.

I think my problem with Gary is that I get the sense he "puts on" a lot of his outrageousness. He apparently has the ability to control swearing while on camera and can be serious when it's required. Because of this, I don't think his outbursts are completely spontaneous and uncontrolled. To me, it appears he simply enjoys seeing reactions to his antics.

by jazztoday Sun Sep 20, 2015 3:53 pm

kincaid53 wrote:
rkc1960 wrote:
Lesallee wrote:Love and blessings to you and your son, rkc.
Thank you, Lesallee....

I don't know if you watched the Miss America pagent, but in the talent part there was a contestant that is a nurse and she did a monologue of a conversation with an Alzheimer patient..........the gist of it was the patient Joe just thought of himself as someone with alzheimers.....the nurse kept telling him I wish I could help you more, but I'm just a nurse. In the end she says you're not just someone with alzheimers you are Joe....he tells her you are not just a nurse you are my nurse.
        Your son, rkc, is not just someone with autism......he is your son and deserving of a wonderful life of equal opportunies as everyone else is!   I think if I met your son tomorrow he could teach me something valuable that would enrich my life!
    I know there is a saying that ignorance is bliss, but in some cases, such as the people you speak about...ignorance can be hurtful.
I want to join lesallee in sending love and blessings to your family ............

Kincaid, you are indeed a good person. I've noticed it throughout all of the boards.

by jazztoday Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:08 pm

newto wrote:
Psychee22 wrote:

Perhaps more the "unpredictability" aspect, Oakma, I think. But only the kind that could result in harm or embarrassment, I would say. There are loads of "mental conditions" that are just accepted by everyone -- like learning disabilities, and Parkinson's, and OCD -- which are all quite predictable and thus, much easier for others to understand and cope with. ....post truncated

Sorry to be so late to the discussion, but...."Mental conditions" are not accepted by everyone. One of my sons had ADHD, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain and sometimes results in less than stellar behavior. He had to take medication at school, and the other kids found out and ridiculed him and made him one miserable child. Yes, I know they were kids and kids can be cruel, but you would be amazed at the number of adults who commented out loud in a derogatory way or blamed it all on me.

As for OCD, that is also a cruel condition, and in its extremes, is not understood by the general public and least of all by the patient. It is not predictable and unresolved OCD causes anxiety and horrible depression. People do not understand depression and some say "oh just snap out of it." Not so easy, my friends.

Now I will get off my soapbox. Thanks for "listening" to another point of view.

You are right newto, I've seen where mental conditions are not accepted by everyone. Even normal kids who create a disturbance in a restaurant are not accepted by everyone. I saw a disabled person leaving a doctor's office drop something on the sidewalk and people just talked on by, not accepting the fact the man couldn't pick up his package. I picked it up and helped him to his car and a person looked at me as if I were 'mental' for helping him. I have no mental condition even though I was diagnosed on the board once by the person you have answered, and it was so off, I laughed and laughed. I printed it for my friends and they got a kick out of it. It is really interesting to read all the different interpretations. This is a great board. Thanks.

by **Glittersisgld** Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:17 pm

I think a lot of people have OCD at varying levels. I think it is listed as an anxiety disorder.

by **Lesallee** Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:35 pm

by **kincaid53** Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:36 pm

Thanks jazz I appreciate that. I have always liked reading your posts.
Now if I can just stop sneaking into DMD's wine cellar Wine

by **Psychee22** Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:37 pm

newto wrote:
Psychee22 wrote:

Perhaps more the "unpredictability" aspect, Oakma, I think. But only the kind that could result in harm or embarrassment, I would say. There are loads of "mental conditions" that are just accepted by everyone -- like learning disabilities, and Parkinson's, and OCD -- which are all quite predictable and thus, much easier for others to understand and cope with. ....post truncated

Sorry to be so late to the discussion, but...."Mental conditions" are not accepted by everyone. One of my sons had ADHD, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain and sometimes results in less than stellar behavior. He had to take medication at school, and the other kids found out and ridiculed him and made him one miserable child. Yes, I know they were kids and kids can be cruel, but you would be amazed at the number of adults who commented out loud in a derogatory way or blamed it all on me.

As for OCD, that is also a cruel condition, and in its extremes, is not understood by the general public and least of all by the patient. It is not predictable and unresolved OCD causes anxiety and horrible depression. People do not understand depression and some say "oh just snap out of it." Not so easy, my friends.

Now I will get off my soapbox. Thanks for "listening" to another point of view.

Newto, I believe you mistakenly mis-read my comment. I did NOT say that ALL mental conditions are accepted by everyone and I certainly did not say that they were understood by everyone. I said that I believed that the ones that were not readily accepted (and I was talking about adults, not children) were the ones in which people felt that they couldn't predict the behavior of the person, that they felt somehow threatened by that unpredictability, or even embarrassed by it and yes, ADHD can be one of those conditions. But there are other conditions, like learning disabilities and Parkinsons and OCD, that EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE DO NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTAND THEM, once the behavior is explained, it is tolerated WITHOUT FEELING THREATENED BY IT, which was the comment I was responding to. And by TOLERATED, I don't mean that they don't feel annoyed by it when it gets in their way; but those same people who get annoyed after knowing what the nature of the problem is are also the kind that get annoyed with most everything that anyone does to get in their way -- that is THEIR problem.

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