Dating Ethics and Etiquette - Bach Style

What's a girl to do when she's rather spirited, spontaneous and apparently highly sensual?  And, oh yeah, trying to date 25 guys on national TV and claiming she's looking to find a husband?

There has been a lot of discussion about how Kaitlyn handled her interaction with both Nick and Shawn as she meandered from bed to bed collecting the information she needed to make a final decision.

Since it is such a fascination subject, and involves such differing values and outlooks, I thought it deserved its own thread where we can spend part of the off-season picking the subject apart to the bone.

What, exactly, are we judging?  Is it how a woman (or man, for that matter) should behave in public (in front of a camera), or how she should conduct herself in the relationships themselves (what the producers claim is "reality")?

What do you think?  OK, if you've already written about it, think s'more! 

The next two posts I write will be about Kaitlyn's explanations to Nick, and then Shawn, why she made the decisions she did.  With maybe a little tongue-in-cheek (mine in my own, not Kaitlyn's in someone else's).

Kaitlyn explains to Nick:

You know, I became interested in you way before the taping even started.  I'm so glad the producers were on board with my idea in plenty of time for you to clear the decks at home so you could come on the show.  We didn't want you to be there until it made sense to focus on you.

But here's the thing.  I've always been here for the right reason, and that's to find a husband.  I dunno know--it's just like when the light comes on on the coffee machine telling you the brewing is over.  No more percolating, no more steaming, no more gurgling--it's time.

Well, it's obvious that I have the hots for you, and that's very important.  Very important.  I gotta have it, you know?  You are hard to resist, no question about it.  So lets have it and have some fun.  You're good with that, aren't you?

Now, when I say, "I love you"--and I'm sure I will--I'll mean it, really.  Indeed, the whole experience will be very real; I'm not just playing.  So you should take it seriously, but not too seriously.  Because I could love you but love someone else, too.  Or love you now, but figure tomorrow I love the other person more.  You know, this test driving thing can be a little bit fickle.  An Alfa Romeo one day, an Audi the next.  Yikes!  Having fun is soooooo hard!

Kaitlyn's explanation to Shawn:

I know I said, "You're the one."  I know I shouldn't have said it then because it caused problems for us later, but I was in the moment.  "Carpe le moment," or something like that.  I have the rest of the season to think--no point in thinking while your arms are around me.  Now, you know I have to play the game with the other guys.  Things could change on a dime--especially if the producers see an opportunity for more drama.  I've learned you can't pick a future husband without drama.

So even if I sneak around to spend time with you, you must keep in mind there can't be a commitment until that last rose is given.  I need to make sure.  I need to explore my all options.  Explore them intensely.  That's what this process is for.

But don't worry.  Once, and if, I've said "You're the one" when you really are the one, it means I've made a decision.  You can count on that.  You can trust me then.  I will have reached the destination of my journey.  I won't hear any sports car engines cranking up outside.  I'm sure.  Now.  I'm sure now.

SLA44 wrote:I didn't watch her season but I did hear on one of entertainment shows or something like that that she also slept with Ben H. in the FS.  Has anyone else heard that and if so what would she have said to him?  

I've heard that, too, but didn't see where Kaitlyn would have said so on any of the TV interviews.  It wouldn't surprise me.  It looked to me like Ben H was cool enough about the whole thing that they might have just had mutual fun, or that if she were willing, he wasn't going to refuse.

My curiosity isn't so much the right or wrong of what Kaitlyn said or did, but how the guys dealt with it.  Is Shawn really as secure as he says he is?  It's very hard for me to believe, but I dealt with those issues in a different generation.