Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by grace8136 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:11 am

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by gin1972 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:12 am

Sure... Amen. I do not have a problem with James being honest and telling the truth. In most cases I do believe in giving some a second chance. I would tell him he the trust card was still face down and he has to back up your words and prove to me that you would never cheat again. I would remind him most women would hold out the trust card. I would also tell him he only gets one shot to prove he would not cheat again and if he did that would be crossing the line and that is when I close the door and it would never be open again.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by SLA44 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:33 am



Thanks for the link Grace.  That deleted scene with Drew was too creepy to me - it reminded me too much of the that scene with AshLee and Sean and the blindfold.  I'm glad that scene was deleted from the show.  Every time I see Drew his looks remind of Jake P. and that is not a good thing for me, I'm not saying he is like Jake in personality but that in looks he sure resembles him.  I wonder if Zak gave that ring to Des.  There is something about Zak that seems like he is a thoughtful and caring person of course he could turn out to be just the opposite but I guess time will tell.

Rein I totally agree with you on Brooks. Yuck

Just wanted to add that the ratings for last night were only 1.6 another new low for the franchise, The Voice again had over twice as many viewers as the Bachelorette did.  I guess I'm not the only one finding this season boring.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:22 pm


Seems like one thing is consistent with the conversations with the different guys. They cannot carry on a conversation at any length so start kissing.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by SLA44 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:43 pm

sdreindeer wrote:

Seems like one thing is consistent with the conversations with the different guys. They cannot carry on a conversation at any length so start kissing.  


Funny post LOL!
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:47 pm

sdreindeer wrote:

Seems like one thing is consistent with the conversations with the different guys. They cannot carry on a conversation at any length so start kissing.  

Funny....we had to endure 30 seconds of Bob Guiney first......

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by rkc1960 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:53 pm

SLA44 wrote:


Thanks for the link Grace.  That deleted scene with Drew was too creepy to me - it reminded me too much of the that scene with AshLee and Sean and the blindfold.  I'm glad that scene was deleted from the show.  Every time I see Drew his looks remind of Jake P. and that is not a good thing for me, I'm not saying he is like Jake in personality but that in looks he sure resembles him.  I wonder if Zak gave that ring to Des.  There is something about Zak that seems like he is a thoughtful and caring person of course he could turn out to be just the opposite but I guess time will tell.

Rein I totally agree with you on Brooks. Yuck

Just wanted to add that the ratings for last night were only 1.6 another new low for the franchise, The Voice again had over twice as many viewers as the Bachelorette did.  I guess I'm not the only one finding this season boring.

I wasn't crazy about that scene with Drew either. Why did he bother having their eyes closed to tell her about his sister? It's like he was purposely avoiding eye contact when telling her. Could it be because he was not being honest and he couldn't look at her when saying it? I know that most of these people come on here telling stories whether it be for sympathy or not.

As to Zak and the ring, I don't think I would have bought a ring because that just seems a bit too bold at this stage of the game. Maybe a necklace or bracelet but not a ring.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:01 pm

rkc1960 wrote:

I wasn't crazy about that scene with Drew either. Why did he bother having their eyes closed to tell her about his sister? It's like he was purposely avoiding eye contact when telling her. Could it be because he was not being honest and he couldn't look at her when saying it? I know that most of these people come on here telling stories whether it be for sympathy or not.


Me neither!! Also, why is it that almost all these contestants have a sob story of some sort. We all have these times, but can we please here some uplifting stories of life. Every season gets more and more like a pity party.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by grace8136 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:52 pm

sdreindeer wrote:
rkc1960 wrote:

I wasn't crazy about that scene with Drew either. Why did he bother having their eyes closed to tell her about his sister? It's like he was purposely avoiding eye contact when telling her. Could it be because he was not being honest and he couldn't look at her when saying it? I know that most of these people come on here telling stories whether it be for sympathy or not.


Me neither!!  Also, why is it that almost all these contestants have a sob story of some sort.  We all have these times, but can we please here some uplifting stories of life.  Every season gets more and more like a pity party.  

I didn't get that either. He tells the story and then she asked if it bothered him and he said no, so what's the big deal? That was a weird scene and I agree that a ring would not be appropriate. Had he gotten a necklace or a gift that somehow symbolized their time in Atlantic City it would have been really nice. There's an undertone of sadness in Des. I don't know if she is disappointed with her guys or what, but she does not seem truly enthusiastic about it. Maybe she is just tired. The conversations are dull, how hard is it to make conversation with a person you don't know? There are so many questions to ask to get things rolling.

Wasn't it the finale of the voice last night? I could see the ratings picking up next week, if so. Plus, they are finally traveling abroad, so that helps the show.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by SLA44 on Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:23 pm

Yes Grace last night was the final songs for the voting and tonight the winner will be announced.  I think it depends on what is aired in the Voice's place that might decide whether the bachelorette picks up viewers or not.  I think they may have lost more after last night's show.

I also thought the ring was not the best idea of a gift this early in a relationship but it at least showed that he may have a giving side to him but I guess he already showed that with the journal even though is was not a new item.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by singlyme on Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:35 am

Thanks for the link, grace.  I think it's the first time I've seen Des try to avert a kiss.  And it only emphasized what I was thinking about the ego-driven Mikey.

I suppose there is really no huge stand-out so far.  Personally, I think Chris and Zak are the two to watch - and after Kasey's tap dance, I'd put him in the mix.  I agree that Drew's conversation was odd with the closed eyes requirement - but he was letting her know his sister was retarded - and he doesn't feel burdened by it.  It seems many of these guys have "broken" pasts - all saddled with childhood baggage - just as she is.  Puzzling.  Gotta wonder if two of every three young people these days come from a broken or troubled home?

Was it an engagement ring Zak chose?  It looked like one to me.  It would be cool (if he's the final one) if he gave her a ring that meant something - and not one of the show's two-ton rocks.  But I do agree with you guys that a more appropriate gift was warranted at this stage of the game.  Is he holding it back - hoping?  And what kind of store did he go into?  A pawn shop, antique shop?  I didn't notice.  My only complaint about Zak is that faux mohawk.  I wish he'd comb it over.  Same for Kasey's wild-looking hair.  I guess it's my age talking.  lol.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by grace8136 on Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:10 am

I don't think it's an age thing. My son was making fun of their hair. I don't see many boys in Texas with that crazy hair. Maybe it's a California thing? Not sure, but it looks like they put their finger in a light socket. Shock

The ring did look like an engagement ring because it had a clear stone. Definitely not the right choice, but guys don't understand things like that sometimes and so I guess it's the thought that counts? 

I loved that Chris wrote her a poem.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by rkc1960 on Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:46 am

LMAO...

Grace, where did you come up with that Emoticon with the hair standing on end? I saw that and I couldn't stop laughing. that is hysterical and so appropriate with what you were saying!

And I also agree that guys don't understand sometimes when buying a gift for a woman. It reminds me of something Samantha said in the first Sex and the City movie when Smith bought her that flower ring..."Let me get this straight, this is a ring with diamonds and not a diamond ring, right?" Women are trickier to buy for...for men all you have to do is give them a Home Depot gift certificate LOL...
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by BlueMoon on Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:59 pm

It does seem like a "pity party" sometimes, but I think the guys just want Des to know those things about them in case something is a "deal breaker."  For me, the guy who said he cheated would be a deal breaker.

Des does seem kind of sad sometimes, but I think it's only with the ones she doesn't really feel a connection with yet.  Plus, maybe she's already been clued into their pasts and knows what's coming?  I noticed that Brooks always seems to lighten her up.  His hair though . . . too greasy-looking . . .(:

grace8136 wrote:
sdreindeer wrote:
rkc1960 wrote:

I wasn't crazy about that scene with Drew either. Why did he bother having their eyes closed to tell her about his sister? It's like he was purposely avoiding eye contact when telling her. Could it be because he was not being honest and he couldn't look at her when saying it? I know that most of these people come on here telling stories whether it be for sympathy or not.


Me neither!!  Also, why is it that almost all these contestants have a sob story of some sort.  We all have these times, but can we please here some uplifting stories of life.  Every season gets more and more like a pity party.  

I didn't get that either. He tells the story and then she asked if it bothered him and he said no, so what's the big deal? That was a weird scene and I agree that a ring would not be appropriate. Had he gotten a necklace or a gift that somehow symbolized their time in Atlantic City it would have been really nice. There's an undertone of sadness in Des. I don't know if she is disappointed with her guys or what, but she does not seem truly enthusiastic about it. Maybe she is just tired. The conversations are dull, how hard is it to make conversation with a person you don't know? There are so many questions to ask to get things rolling.

Wasn't it the finale of the voice last night? I could see the ratings picking up next week, if so. Plus, they are finally traveling abroad, so that helps the show.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by BlueMoon on Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:02 pm

I don't care for Zak's hair, either.  Light socket?  That's funny!Very Happy

I think a ring at this point in time is definitely not the right gift.  I think Des would appreciate something like a poem more. 
rkc1960 wrote:LMAO...

Grace, where did you come up with that Emoticon with the hair standing on end? I saw that and I couldn't stop laughing. that is hysterical and so appropriate with what you were saying!

And I also agree that guys don't understand sometimes when buying a gift for a woman. It reminds me of something Samantha said in the first Sex and the City movie when Smith bought her that flower ring..."Let me get this straight, this is a ring with diamonds and not a diamond ring, right?" Women are trickier to buy for...for men all you have to do is give them a Home Depot gift certificate LOL...
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by singlyme on Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:20 am

Perhaps the hair deal with Zak and Kasey was a popular style while they were in high school?  You KNOW how hard it is to shed a hairdo you think you once looked good in. Sad

Remember how good guys looked in jean shorts?  That well-defined thigh muscle?  Now, they appear to be wearing cullottes (sp?).  Women are stripping down to nothing and guys are hiding their legs.  But NO speedos,please!  I was SO glad when long hair went out of vogue.  And gold chains. Yuck  I'm the last person to worry about the latest fashion, but I DO have my limits. 

At this point in the proceedings, I've forgotten whose sob story goes to which guy.  But I AM curious as to how one goes about having a baby with a "friend" unless she's a lesbian buddy who wanted a child.  I'll forego the answer if I can be free of Ben.  Otherwise, this inquiring mind wants to know.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:45 am

Singly - to address your last paragraph.  Casual sex is alive and well; it comes with no love, no strings, and no expectations of making an attachment with the other person.  Whether that is right or wrong is up to each person to decide.  In this age of STD's and AIDS it might not be such a wonderful idea.  JMHO.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by singlyme on Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:58 am

Casual sex, I get, newto.  It's knowing the responsibility involved (child support, rearing) that makes me curious as to how good a friend this was.  True bf's or bf's with benefits?  BIG benefits in this case.

I'm not judging anyone's decision to do something like this.  If you never plan to marry and want a child with someone you know you can trust, this might well be the answer.   What I'm curious about is the reasoning and the arrangement.  If one of this couple decides to marry, it could be a mess down the road.  I'd guess I'm particularly curious in this case because of what we've seen of Ben's personality.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:05 am

Yep, casual sex is very much alive and well.  Sadly, it's just accepted that that is now the norm.   With Ben, what maybe happened was this woman and him either dated for some time and remained friends or were just very good friends.  They realized that they did not want to marry, but she (it's usually the female anyway) wanted to have a child, in spite of being a single mom.  She knew who the baby's father would be, knew he would treat the child well, would get financial support and come from a good gene pool.  They probably have some sort of agreement of child support/visitation, etc.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:09 am

singlyme wrote:Casual sex, I get, newto.  It's knowing the responsibility involved (child support, rearing) that makes me curious as to how good a friend this was.  True bf's or bf's with benefits?  BIG benefits in this case.

I'm not judging anyone's decision to do something like this.  If you never plan to marry and want a child with someone you know you can trust, this might well be the answer.   What I'm curious about is the reasoning and the arrangement.  If one of this couple decides to marry, it could be a mess down the road.  I'd guess I'm particularly curious in this case because of what we've seen of Ben's personality.

There may just be a possibility that Ben is not the evil demon that he is being portrayed to be. Maybe the producers saw a "devilish" side to him and ramped it up. Someone always has to be the bad guy. I don't care for him either, but I don't believe he is half as bad as Tierra. I don't trust the producers of this show at all anymore.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by SLA44 on Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:10 am

Singly I addressed your concerns regarding Ben and his son's mother on the Lettes Chat thread.  They were dating when she got pregnant and tried to make it work when she found out (they had already parted company by the time she found out) and it didn't work for them as a couple but they have remained friends and he is involved in his son's life. For that alone I think he deserves some credit when there are so many men out there that have nothing to do with their offspring either financially or personally.  This thing about Brad had all been discussed on another site and that is where I found out about it.


Last edited by SLA44 on Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:59 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by singlyme on Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:17 am

I saw it, SLA.  Thanks.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:00 pm

SLA44 wrote:Singly I addressed your concerns regarding Ben and his son's mother on the Lettes Chat thread.  They were dating when she got pregnant and tried to make it work when she found out (they had already parted company by the time she found out) and it didn't work for them as a couple but they have remained friends and he is involved in his son's life. For that alone I think he deserves some credit when there are so many men out there that have nothing to do with their offspring either financially or personally.  This had all been discussed on another site.

Thanks for the clarification....that part just slipped my mind, but now that you bring it up I vaguely remember his story about the son.

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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by grace8136 on Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:38 pm

I suspect Ben is not that bad and producers are egging it on. Being secretive about his time with Des is not the end of the world. He comes off as a little insincere, but who knows? I do think she has some better choices and he will leave regardless of the drama.
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Re: Episode 4 - 6/17 - The Bachelorette 9 - Discussion

Post by SLA44 on Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:07 pm

I agree Grace and I have no idea how sincere he is but IMO I don't believe he is as bad as the editing leaves people to think.  The speedos were not his choice and he did ask if anyone would change with him.  He was not thrilled about wearing them either.  The one that stands out in my mind that was making a comment about his swimsuit not showing off enough was Mikey and LOL at that one. 


As far as him being accused of being secretive about his time with Des I remember Jef and Arie making snide remarks about Sean during or after Emily's season about being closed lipped about his time with Emily.  I actually had more respect for Sean about not discussing his time with Emily that for Jef and Arie that were talking to each other about their time spent with Emily - it kinda reminded me of grade school locker behavior on their part, very immature.

I also agree that I don't think Ben will be there too much longer and he does have the dreaded 2-on-2 date in the next episode with Michael G. being the other party.  Quite frankly between the two I would select Ben over the big whiner but then she probably doesn't see all his whining.  I would send both M&M's (Michael & Mikey) packing.
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